Ex and my employee

[damnthisvirusandmarriage]

I’m going out of my fucking mind. So I have a 19 year old girl who works for me. My ex husband just gleefully told me that yesterday they went for a piercing together and for a walk on the beach and possibly wild Camping. She never told me this was happening. She’s sat there and listened to me complain about him. She’s seen me cry. She knows the only reason I didn’t kill myself was coz of the kids. I feel totally stabbed in the back. I know I can’t control her behaviour. But WTAF.

She said she didn’t think it was necessary to tell me. So she didn’t. They spent time working together (for my business) and he’s her friend.

My ex is also texting my step dad to meet for a catch up.

I don’t want her to work again. I might add she has caused a lot of issues for my business and I’ve been hugely supportive in the past. She has seveetely Compromised the business several times and I’ve forgiven and supported her.

You have been unprofessional. Why on earth are you crying to a teenager?

You cannot fire her for this. On what grounds?

Draw some boundaries

I agree entirely with all the comments. You’re all absolutely right. I’ve made huge mistakes. And it’s been a huge learning curve. The nature of the job makes it very personal.

When I’ve told her stuff it’s been in hindsight really. Not as it happens as when it was actually happening to me I was too ashamed to tell anyone.

I’m going to let her go. I’ve sought advice from various places. Will confirm with my legal line on Monday though.

Urgh.

This is why you should never mix business with your personal life. Do not become friends with your staff. You can't fire her, she would have very good grounds for unreasonable dismissal and could take you to court. Stop being her mate and carry on professionally.

She’s gonna get fired. I can’t work with her. I wish I could tell you the stuff that happened before but it’s too long a story. But trust me she should have been fired back then.

She’s worked with me less than two years. I’ll give her a good reference.

Wow! I wouldn’t be able to keep my cool. Fire her ass!

Maybe bite your tongue for one last coffee meet up... Discuss exes herpes or similar... His fondness for dogging / bdsm...
Then leave it a week.
Then get rid.

@damnthisvirusandmarriage

She’s gonna get fired. I can’t work with her. I wish I could tell you the stuff that happened before but it’s too long a story. But trust me she should have been fired back then.

She’s worked with me less than two years. I’ll give her a good reference.

I agree you should fire her. Even though it sounds like she's compromised the business the fact she's been seeing your ex is so bang out of order. I wouldn't be able to work with her.

I would seek legal advice. You cannot just fire her suddenly and cite things she did ages ago. Disciplinary procedures have to be followed and with recent reason that does not involve her personal relationships.

@delilahbucket

I would seek legal advice. You cannot just fire her suddenly and cite things she did ages ago. Disciplinary procedures have to be followed and with recent reason that does not involve her personal relationships.

The OP can fire her for any reason in the first 2 years.

Sounds like the poor teenager has been fucked over and manipulated by two histrionic twunts.

She was only going to work - and gets caught up with one boss who has zero personal boundaries, professionalism or emotional regulation. Or even any business acumen. Then the naive teenager is unwittingly groomed by one of the drama llamas to piss off the other. How old are you both.....emotionally?

@damnthisvirusandmarriage

I’m going out of my fucking mind. So I have a 19 year old girl who works for me. My ex husband just gleefully told me that yesterday they went for a piercing together and for a walk on the beach and possibly wild Camping. She never told me this was happening. She’s sat there and listened to me complain about him. She’s seen me cry. She knows the only reason I didn’t kill myself was coz of the kids. I feel totally stabbed in the back. I know I can’t control her behaviour. But WTAF.

She said she didn’t think it was necessary to tell me. So she didn’t. They spent time working together (for my business) and he’s her friend.

My ex is also texting my step dad to meet for a catch up.

I don’t want her to work again. I might add she has caused a lot of issues for my business and I’ve been hugely supportive in the past. She has seveetely Compromised the business several times and I’ve forgiven and supported her.

OP Why is he your ex ?

Did she know he was going to tell you about her ?

Has she been used as a weapon to hurt you by him ?

If so, he does not really care about her welfare at all !

He is the twat here, and she is a victim, and by the sound of it he is an abuser.

I think you can't work with her but it's not her fault - any of it really.

On a separate issue if she has caused your business to have problems then that is a disciplinary issue.