Two people meet very young at uni. One leaves and gets an entry level job. The other falls pregnant but continues to study. The other progresses quickly in their job and get a job offer 200 miles away. The female has the baby, finishes the degree and then moves to be with the father.
The father focuses everything into career progression. Moves quickly up the ranks. Travels at the drop of a hat for 2-4 weeks at a time. The female tries but struggles to progress and decides to move back home and the male returns too.
The male continues to travel abroad and is now earning £100k per year. The female leaves her job as she moves back home. Has another baby and stays at home until the child is 2. Gets another job earning a decent amount.
Male is hardly home and when is he doesn’t help with house or with kids much. Pays for a cleaner. Male always in control of money. Female given an allowance each month. Female struggles to cope with all demands and is supported to leave her job and be a stay at home mum.
Male gets to travel and progress career but controls finances with a half hearted attempt to include female. Female given £150 a month for treats, make up, clothes. Everything else is joint account but largely controlled by male.
Male will say “we need to watch what we spend, we need to save, we don’t have much left”
Then will say “let’s go for dinner, let’s go on holiday. Buys himself a £10k watch”.
Female feels controlled but when complain is told that “you wanted to be a stay at home mum and struggled with a full time job. I pay everything. You’re lucky”.
Any thoughts?