Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

Men living "at home"

18 replies

LongDale · 07/10/2007 21:09

This isn't related to any specific situation...I'm just curious, Would you ever date someone that still lived with one or both of their parents?

OP posts:

CarGirl · 07/10/2007 21:10

yes and I married him

Tottie32 · 07/10/2007 21:10

depends on age???

CarGirl · 07/10/2007 21:11

Have to say he was 23 at the time and in Surrey on his wages not living with his (young and liberal) parents wasn't much of an option if he ever wanted to buy a property.

Lulumama · 07/10/2007 21:11

definitely depends on age

MyTwopenceworth · 07/10/2007 21:11

Depends how old they were. If I was in the market for an 18yr old, then I wouldn't mind.

Over 25 and I'd start to think they were

a) a lazy arse who would expect me to carry on the tradition of waiting on them
b) stingy
c) still attached to the umbilical cord

Snaf · 07/10/2007 21:16

Depends on age and situation. There's a big difference between someone who's just never left mummy and someone who's back on a temporary basis and/or for a specific reason.

CarGirl · 07/10/2007 21:18

actually dh is the most responsible out of the lot of them - he was the one turning down the music at the parties and cat sitting whilst they went away on boozing holidays........

pneumalifenewname · 07/10/2007 21:20

No but that doesn't mean there aren't justifiable reasons for doing so. In fact, it is quite sensible really given housing market.

To me though, it always smacks of 'chubby, computer geek who is a virgin still and has sweaty pants'.

duke748 · 07/10/2007 21:23

I have in the past and wouldn't again.

It was awful going round to his parents and sleeping over - I felt like a naughty school girl creeping around even though they didn't have an issue with it.

Also - when we set up home he did not have a clue about paying bills/housework/all those other grown up things.

I felt like I became his mother and it wasn't good at all! I have a lot of sympathy for her!

I agree over about 25, you got to worry about why he stil at home.

Original poster

LongDale · 07/10/2007 21:42

say...27

OP posts:

mazzystar · 07/10/2007 21:47

i did, for quite a while.

he was 28 or so at the time, and actually I was dead impressed, he had a really lovely relationship with his parents. and whilst his mum did makes his supper, only if she was in, i hasten to add, equally he did stuff about the house.

he eventually moved out about 10 days before he hit thirty.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 08/10/2007 07:39

Absolutely not but then again I've been somewhat influenced by my BIL.

He lived away from home at one time till his female flatmate decided to move her boyfriend in and increase the rent. He could not afford to stay there. Having nowhere else to go at the time he returned home (this was at least 12 years ago now). His parents made a fundamental error at that time; not sitting down and establishing rules re chores and money when he returned.

He is still at home and now contributes nothing financially to the household bills (he does not have a job) or chores. He is also now in debt. An unhappy situation all round. His Dad wants him out but his Mum wants him to stay as he is company for her. His parents are also part of the problem.

lizziemun · 08/10/2007 08:07

not, but dh did.

I was still living at home at 29 when i met him. He had his own house.

I couldn't afford to move out, my parents are divorced so me and mum were more like flatmates.

Is it different if it a woman still at home, as we are more likely to help with the chores? so are already house trained .

warthog · 08/10/2007 08:26

what's his reason longdale?

Shannaratiger · 08/10/2007 08:47

Yes, he was 32 then, his mum never let him in the kitchen, did all his laundry & hoovered his room! 7 years later i am still trying to reeducate him. I am determined that my ds,1, will be able to look after himself, inc. cleaning the toilet etc.

PregnantGrrrl · 08/10/2007 08:50

depends why, and if he pulled his weight at home. DH lived with his mother until he was 27, and when he moved out she still wanted his washing. I started seeing him round this time, and used to rib him about it a bit.

Turned out that his sister had already moved out, his father had left her some years before in a rather spiteful way, and she'd had a nervous breakdown at the time. He hadn't felt able to leave her until 27, and she insisted on the washing because it made her feel useful to someone.

PregnantGrrrl · 08/10/2007 08:51

and DH is perfectly capable of using washing machine, dishwasher etc btw. Shame he never picks up his socks though...

Shannaratiger · 08/10/2007 09:09

yes dh leaves his dirty washing on the floor right next to the clothes basket?

Flip