How to keep marriage alive

[WaffleDogg20]

Dh and myself have been together 7 years and married for 1. He was/is my best friend before my husband. He makes me laugh and I genuinely feel like he’s my soul mate. We have a 4yr Dd and I have two from a previous marriage who he dotes on.

Our marriage was going well until lockdown and somehow we have taken a massive downward spiral.

We never get time together, he works long shifts but when he’s home we are always with the Dc. Now the youngest has started school we were excited to get some time together.

We sit on different sofas, and I will admit to being addicted to my phone. We haven’t had sex since lockdown.

Today we had an argument and he said he felt like we have no relationship and that he doesn’t enjoy my company anymore. Obviously I’m massively hurt and heartbroken. We used to have such good fun together and loads of happy memories before our youngest came along.

I don’t know what to do. I really don’t want to separate as I love him so so much, he’s an amazing dad and we have built a life together. He says he wants to caddy on and hope it will fix but doesn’t give any ideas on how to do this?!

Please help, I don’t want to lose my husband.

Ps- we never argue really. Bicker every so often but we’ve never shouted and argued.

Have you got anyone who can babysit for an evening? Surprise him with a nice meal out maybe?

We used to go out once a mo th before lockdown so I will try and arrange something

Theres nothing worse than someone who is glued to their phone every night. Put it somewhere and talk to him

I'd strongly recommend marriage counselling.

Making time together and putting down the phone are good ideas. Maybe also tell him what you appreciate admit him, and show an interest in him in conversation.

But the most important thing is to start fighting for your marriage now. Don't delay. This will only get worse if neither of you makes an effort, but if you both work hard at it you may well end up happier than ever.

We are in a very similar situation, although still get on but lockdown has been rough. Please put the phone away , sit with your hubby offer him a foot rub or a hand hold and try build up closeness again 😘

You need to really connect.

Sitting in the same room looking at a phone is not the same thing as connecting. Obviously there is a time and place for being together and doing your own thing but it shouldn't be the norm.

How about cooking a new type of food together, sharing a bottle of wine and really talking about your hopes and dreams, finding out if one of you would like to try something different in bed, is there a place you'd like to visit together some day and so on.

Have a date at home or out somewhere - be really interested in getting to k ow each other - don't assume you know him inside out already.

Have fun with this

This is worth a read:

www.gottman.com/blog/3-steps-reconnect-feel-disconnected-partner/