I feel so guilty, broken up with DP and leaving earlier then he thinks

[girlwithadragontattoo]

I broke up with my ex 6/7 weeks ago, I'm finally moving back home in 2 weeks time. Unfortunately we've had to live together until I'm due to leave as i had no-where else to go (living with his family currently in a different European country)
Anyway, he's a complete and utter twt, i've been here nearly 4 years, in that time he's only worked for around 6 months until very recently, when i handed my noticed in and said i was leaving, he's managed to get himself a job, funny how he couldn't before now!

Anyway, I've been paying for everything (no DC's), he also smokes and was a big weed smoker, but hasn't since new years.

He thinks I'm shagging half of our town, when I'm at work apparently i make porn films lol, he thinks i take coke etc... I can't do anything by myself, never have time to myself and i never have money as it's always me that pays, if we go to the cinema its me that pays, if we have dinner its me again who pays, you get the idea.

I finally cracked and had enough, handed my noticed in for my job that i love and I'm coming home. I'm actually leaving a day earlier then he thinks as i know what he's like and he'll either try and stop me from leaving or will find a way for me to miss my flight. Luckily he works away during the week, only returning on the weekends. I'm leaving on the Friday and not the Saturday as he thinks i am. Anything, i feel so guilty, I'm going to call him on the Friday afternoon when I'm on my way to the airport as i think it a bit sht leaving and not saying bye, though i don't own him anything. I just feel guilty as i know he'll be upset that he hasn't actually said bye

[FingersCrossedForAllOfUs]

Good for you on making this decision, leave and don’t look back. But if I were you I wouldn’t call him until you are minutes away from boarding, if you call when you get there he might make a mad dash and try and cause a scene.

[mineofuselessinformation]

I'd actually make double-sure if I was you and leave on Thursday, and go to a hotel for the night.
If you can afford it, of course.
You can enjoy a night of relaxation before your flight, secure in the knowledge that he will have no clue where you are. Block his number when you leave!
As for leaving him a note or calling - don't. You owe him nothing.

[TwixTwixtwoo]

I'd leave him a note if you need to feel you've done things 'properly', that's more than he deserves so you've no need to feel guilty, does he feel guilty for leeching off you for years I wonder?

You sound switched on and decisive, don't start this next stage of your life weighed down by guilt over someone who has already taken way more from you than they gave. I hope everything goes smoothly and you can concentrate on getting back on your feet at home, you've given this man enough already

[SandyY2K]

I'd text from the plane (before take off) and say there was a last minute change of plan and you left the country left earlier. Then block...then deactivate as planned.

No way he

[girlwithadragontattoo]

Just wanted to update for those of you that replied to me originally, I've been back nearly 8 months now and I've just passed my 6th months probation for a similar role I had In Portugal.
When I first moved ex was constantly texting me and trying to call etc.. Soon shut that down, I said I'd discuss any to the do with the dogs of financial, he then tried to make the conversation personal where he could. I blocked him on everything then he started making up email addresses to contact me hahaha. I haven't spoken to him since November thank god!
On happier news I reconnected with someoke the year above me at school and he's a real breath of fresh air! Wish id come home a lot sooner

[flapjackfairy]

Great update. Enjoy your new life x

[Sunflower1970]

Why would you contact him on the way to the airport when he could still try and stop you???????!!!!!

[Windmillwhirl]

Great update, op. Enjoy your life!

[BlueVelvetStars]

I remember you OP, congratulations on getting home, and reconnecting with someone worthy.

Was your Ex stunned you had already left, when he got home.
You did the right thing my lovely.

Good luck

[DifficultBloodyWoman]

@Cocklepops

You need to get out of the taxi at the airport and sing to yourself the Bros classic ‘I Owe You Nothing’ (completely with the growl in the voice at Nothing) each time you even think of contacting this absolute sponge. Then once you’re on the plane, move onto something like ‘I Am The One and Only’ and forget him. He deserves no place in your life or your head.

🤣 we are from the same music era!

[girlwithadragontattoo]

In all honesty I don't know, I decided to leave my phone and sim as I had no need for either, I was being met the other end by my brother any way with a new sim and a spare phone my mum had. He did hound my brother to start with on Facebook messenger but that was all ignored.
Looking back it's amazing what I thought I had to do and say and how obligated I felt to tell him I'd gone because I was worried how he'd feel, im just so glad the fog has lifted

[mainsfed]

So glad you left him! What was his reaction to you being gone on the Friday? 😂

[coodawoodashooda]

The problem is that you are treating him like a normal person. He's not. He's a pig. Enjoy your new chapter!

[girlwithadragontattoo]

I have no idea what his reaction to be honest, what could he do I was gone by the time he'd got back.
He's tried numerous times to contact me, I stopped replying or being drawn into conversation in December, I just don't care anymore.
While I was there I couldn't drive down the round and look left at a specific roundabout because his druhgy mates lived in the flats next to it and I was apparently 'checking' to see if they were there. If I'd had a very hard day at work he'd take my sun glasses off my face and that was apparently evidence enough I'd been doing drugs all day at work lol. Quite often I'd park my car outside the office, there were about 4 spaces and normal parking was around the corner. I'd need to nip out to a property or whatever and my car would be gone because he'd taken it, I'd then have to call him and he'd come with me and sit outside and watch what I was doing, he didn't have a driving licence and I couldn't take the spare keys off him, he'd do this kind of thing all the time.
There was a bar 3 doors up from me and it was run by British people who were actually from my neck of the woods, I was desperate to go in and make conversation and friends with them, for whatever reason he'd get funny about it, I think because someone he knew who did come went in there once for a drink, and that was that, I couldn't even look at the place as I walked past, I had to look forward because he'd be watching me either from my car, the coffee shop further up the street or he'd come and wait for me to finish

[ShamrockHillz]

Well done op. I’m so glad you made the decision to leave and move on with your life. I spent years with a similar waster and wish that I’d left earlier. Onwards and upwards. Good luck with you new relationship

[litterbird]

Oh I remember your thread.....glad things worked out for you. Its amazing when you eventually step away from all the nonsense to see what you put up with and why you felt so guilty. Well done OP...here's to your next adventure x

[BlueVelvetStars]

thank goodness you found the courage to leave, this was a controlling abusive relationship.

Im so happy you are living a wonderful life now 🌸💕