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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

For men: what has online dating experience been like for you?

4 replies

eveisthelady · 10/09/2020 08:45

Just that really.

OP posts:
ExiledInDonny · 10/09/2020 10:28

I've always generally found it a bit underwhelming and perhaps even a bit contrived. Bearing in mind people - male and female - will only post pictures of themselves looking at their very best/at an angle that they think they look great in/etc, it can often result in the person sitting infront of you (or laying underneath you!) not looking much like the one on their profile.

Never formed a long-term relationship from online dating but I have met some nice women and had some good times. Mind you, I've never really used that many different sites and the one I have used most is more a kink based community site and I have a thing about saying "we met online" so that might have something to do with it. Which is ridiculous!

Maria53 · 12/09/2020 00:34

Not a man but developing what PP just said here - I met my ex on online dating. He said he had met one other woman before me - he said she turned up to the date with her neck covered with a tattoo. It totally turned him off as it hadn't been visible in the pics.

safeordangerous · 12/09/2020 04:48

I came out of a long term relationship (12years) in oct 2018 and have given it a go.

Tinder has been about the best for getting dates.

There's a lot of matching which leads nowhere. The trick seems to be identifying a couple of 'good bets' and get into conversation with them. Maybe aim to swap numbers or suggest a date after about a week of chatting.

Some dates will be short lived. Just accept it and dont take it personally. I was targeted by one as she went out with someone in the same line of work that I think she used as a bit of a cash cow (the least enjoyable experience and we only had one date).

But then there was one we got on really well and still keep in touch now. It didnt go further as she wanted a child (which she now has) and I didnt want any more.

Ive had two mini relationships (about 3 months). The first was a bit too soon in truth but she was good in some ways as she'd been through it herself and was two years separated. She did however have some underlying issues which led to her drinking quite a lot. We went back to hers after date three and she passed when we got to hers. I managed to get her on the sofa and a blanket. That was a red flag really but I wasnt in the right place at that
time. Nothing happened that night I should add! Ultimately I was worried she seemed similar to ex which scared me a bit so that one ended (ex didn't drink but similar characteristics).

The other mini relationahip was very interesting as we had a lot in common and I thought it was a real possibility it could last long term. Unfortunately the distance was a bit too far and she wanted more time than I could give her with kids /work etc. Again though I think underlying issues. She has a clear pattern of short term dating relarionships which she can't seem to break. I keep in touch with her as a friend too.

Im currently dating someone (not via Tinder) . Keeping fingers crosses but will see how it pans out.

I think its different for everyone. I have four kids and will need my own place whilst they grow up which will be over the next 10 years or so. Im happy to blend family but couldnt imagine living with someone full time whilst kids frow up (I put something about it on Dadsnet).

safeordangerous · 12/09/2020 04:51

So to finish I think of you go down the OLD route you need a lot of perserverence!

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