In laws

[Newbee123]

Anybody else have in laws who make 0 effort with you but expect you to make all the effort with them ?

Mine are the same! The level of entitlement is unbelievable!

Yes mine I got fed up so left it to dh to do all the work.

Oh yes!
After many years of always putting in the effort & getting nothing in return I gave up & was blatant about it too. I was fed up with being expected to drop everything for people who couldn't even spell my name Correctly! At first mil & sil's played the victims but was quickly reminded of their lack of effort over the years and also the harsh reminder of my son not even knowing who they are was enough!
Now we all know where we stand- too little too late I'm afraid. But peaceful 😊
If I can offer advice it's to be honest- you'll feel a lot better for it.

Hi ladies so a bit of background info I lived with my in laws (I know crazy ) when they started controlling me and my husband we left they still do this day haven't visited our home or come round yet we are always expected to go theirs? And my MIL doesn't bother calling or seeing how me or baby are doing ( I'm pregnant FYI) still a call is nice pregnancy can we such a vulnerable time. And when I do go round she's just so moody and makes silly comments. What advice would you give me? It's creating problems between me and my husband just because my family are so good to him and his family are meh.

What advice would you give me? It's creating problems between me and my husband just because my family are so good to him and his family are meh.

I would be telling your husband that since his parents are seemingly incapable of treating you respectfully, he can be the one to visit and deal with them. Do not allow these people to bring negativity into your life. Ask your husband how he would feel of your family treated him like this. Would he be bending over backwards to play nice with them? I seriously doubt it.

@Aquamarine1029 I know this will sound silly the only reason I go is so my child will have both grandparents in the babies life I know sad lol I'm just a family person and now coming in to a family with such disgusting behaviour has been really hard to adjust. But yes I shall take your advice in to consideration as if this was the other way round he would not tolerate it.

Your ILs are vile, toxic, dysfunctional, selfish people.

They will never change and will continue to hurt you. Know this and emotionally and physically detach to a safe distance.

They are not capable of normal healthy, warm, kind and respectful relationships like your family.

They will never change and will continue to hurt you. Know this.

Every time you expect something different from them ie normal happy behaviour it will not happen and you will get hurt.

Their toxicity will bleed into your marriage and your new little family.

They will never change and they will continue to hurt you.

Your baby does not need such individuals in their life. They will hurt them both directly and indirectly. Your baby does not need a sullen, sulky toxic atmosphere. They do not need to sense that their own parents are anxious in this environment.

They absorb this and this will scare and confuse them.

You need to spend your precious motherhood and ensure your little family and baby are only bathed in the company of kind radiant happy people.

Seriously don’t pollute your new little family with these people.

@Sssloou thank you I really needed to hear that ❤️

I totally can't be arsed with the in-law thing. They are my DH's family, not mine. There used to be lots of loaded comments about it, but I couldn't give a flying fuck. The (very little) spare time I had was for me and the kids, and not for traipsing up and down the country to visit DH parents, or running a hotel for their convenience.

I'm a terrible woman, I know.