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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Unsupportive partner

4 replies

Justme49 · 09/09/2020 09:58

So last night we went out for a drink. He has a friend who is not a nice person. I called him a bully the other night and he didn't like it. So we are ignoring each other last night and all was well. That was until I went to the loo and when I came back, he bought my partner a drink and when asked by the barmaid if he wanted one for me, he said no. The atmosphere was bad. I never said anything and next thing I know, my partner buys him a drink back. I feel very cut up and felt he didn't have my back. I feel he should have said if you are not buying my partner a drink, then I cannot accept one from you. They are not close pals, just pub pals and lately he has been picking on me about my weight to the point it's not funny anymore. Anyway, am i wrong to feel the way I do or am I over reacting? Thanks for reading this.

OP posts:
tvsnacking · 09/09/2020 10:39

What??

Iloveme30 · 09/09/2020 21:19

I think the friend is jealous of you and is trying to push you out . I'd kill him with kindness and not react to him at all . About your weight tell him very clearly to stop the personal attack and then excuse yourself for the toilet and when you come back act normal again . Play him at his own game

Dontbeme · 09/09/2020 21:36

Honestly OP they sound well suited, a bullying friend and a "partner" who will sit back as his mate shits on you from a height. A respectful partner would not sit back and allow his friends to be disrespectful to you. I had a DP like that, would sit mute when his family made sly comments to put me down, later he would say he didn't know what to say to them, so I distanced myself from his sneering family, and in the end him too.

Treating people kindly costs nothing, it's basic manners and if someone doesn't give me that I don't have them in my life. It may mean a smaller social circle for me but I know those in my circle are genuine, caring and have my back and I do the same for them.

Justme49 · 10/09/2020 00:22

Thank you. Puts a different light on things....

OP posts:
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