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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I need to leave but cant

26 replies

Kmx123 · 09/09/2020 02:35

I need to leave my abusive partner but have no where to go its hard as i have two kids when i tried to leave him before he broke my wrist I cant call domestic abuse helpline as he is with me all the time or in the house since lockdown as he lost his job it has made everything worse there live chat had been no help they say i need to ring in i have no money he has access to it all Police have been involved in the past but have not been any help it makes it worse i try to make up excuses to go out or go to the shop to ring but he wont let me

OP posts:
Anordinarymum · 09/09/2020 02:38

Can't you text a friend to call the police ? If you are on here surely you can contact someone to help you OP

Jada1234 · 09/09/2020 02:57

I really hope it helps.X

Underpressure13 · 09/09/2020 03:01

So sorry to hear you’re in this situation , it sounds horrendous- but it isn’t forever . You can and will get yourself free- keep strong Flowers boots Pharmacy stores were Doing a scheme Specifically for lockdown where You can walk in and ask to use their consultations rooms privately to ring helplines. Depending on whether you can find a way to go into one of the stores, you could arrange things for you and your DC that way . Maybe go in to buy women’s sanitary products ? Most men won’t want to come to do that , just a thought . I’ll post the article link below .
I’m sure someone else will come along soon with more up to date advice . Good luck ! Keep vigilant , log out of MN each time , change passwords regularly. Wishing you a free new life really soon Flowers

www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/uk-52495434

Londonsuffolkmummy · 09/09/2020 03:26

Refuge www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/Contact-us

Could you make an appointment at the doctors? Unless he would be in the room with you

Original poster
Kmx123 · 09/09/2020 06:35

@Anordinarymum

Can't you text a friend to call the police ? If you are on here surely you can contact someone to help you OP
The last time i went to my friends for help ( he didnt know where i was ) he broke in to her house no one wants to be involved this was over a year ago I dont have no friends or family If i say i need sanitary products he will just order it online And as for the police thing hes been arrested before even then he gets his friends to sit outside and watch me even had someone follow me to the school Im ok to use the phone its just i cant call
OP posts:
WorldsSmallestViolin · 09/09/2020 06:37

You go to the toilet though and have showers?

If he gets his friends to sit outside the house, then call the police on them too.

category12 · 09/09/2020 06:38

Do you have access to money at all?

WorldsSmallestViolin · 09/09/2020 06:38

Over lockdown, the police have been advertising that you can phone 999, listen and then just press 5 without saying a word.

iMatter · 09/09/2020 06:46

Does he do the school run with you?

Can you give a note to someone at the school?

cosmicsweets · 09/09/2020 06:56

Do you ever leave the house? If you do can you ask a neighbor for help?

WorldsSmallestViolin · 09/09/2020 06:57

School is a good call. Can you arrange a meeting with school under the pretence of discussing something else?

If he insists on attending, can you write a note and discreetly drop it on the floor or leave it under a chair as you are leaving? Or go to the toilet before leaving and leave it in there? Even if he saw it, you would be in a safe place and wouldn't have to leave with him.

Can you go into the garden to hang the washing out and call someone then?

lifestooshort123 · 09/09/2020 07:01

So sorry for you, hope you sort something out.

Londonsuffolkmummy · 09/09/2020 11:31

How are you today op x

RandomMess · 09/09/2020 12:14

Get the police to your home, leave with the DC there and then and they can call the refuge for you. You could end up anywhere in the country but it's worth the freedom Thanks

RandomMess · 09/09/2020 12:16

Actually you can do an online report to the police, you can explain the situation. Not sure how quickly they will review it and act but worth doing.

Although the 999 and press 5 should get them there quickly.

You need birth certificates etc when you leave if possible.

BluebellsGreenbells · 09/09/2020 12:25

Find your local police station on FB and message them

BluebellsGreenbells · 09/09/2020 12:26

Or make an excuse to go into school office ask for help

Dullardmullard · 09/09/2020 12:27

Do not stay in the home go into a refuge it’s the safest thing to do.

Dial 999 and press 5 not sure if this works though.

Block him on everything bar email for the kids

Dullardmullard · 09/09/2020 12:27

Forgot to say stay safe and good luck escaping

combatbarbie · 09/09/2020 12:30

He broke your wrist? Was he arrested for that?

RandomMess · 09/09/2020 12:31

Tell them you are being kept captive/prisoner

IJustWantSomeBees · 09/09/2020 12:46

I've sent you a message OP. I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through this Flowers

Khadernawazkhan · 09/09/2020 13:35

Please, please find a safe way out. Thoughts and prayers.

username501 · 09/09/2020 14:44

OP you can contact the national domestic violence helpline which is run by Refuge. They have a live chat service.

Other options:

  1. email your local DV organisation which you can find by doing an online search 'Domestic Abuse help Bromley' for example. You can also look on your council website.
  1. Tell him you have thrush and need to see a chemist. You can go to Morrisons pharmacy, Boots, Superdrug and there are other chemists involved which you can find here. Ask for their consultation room and they will take you to a room with a phone and various numbers such as the National Helpline which you can call. Unfortunately the helpline is difficult to get hold off but you can try. If you can't get through then try your local DV organisation. If you can't find that then dial 101, explain to the police what is going on and wait there for them.
  1. Make a Drs app and tell your GP. Most GP surgeries are tied into local DV services and they can make a referral and offer other advice. Some may allow you to use their phone to call either the police or another service.
  1. You can use the emergency text SMS service:

Register your mobile by texting the word 'register' to 999.

You’ll get an automatic text reply. Please read it all.

Read the message and then reply by texting ‘yes’.

You'll then get a text telling you that your mobile is now registered - or if there's been a problem text 'register' to 999 and you'll get a message telling you if it's registered or not. Don't text anything else - there's no need to make a test call.

If you try to register but don't get the 'success' text, check with your mobile provider to make sure they support the emergencySMS service.

Organise an escape route and a grab bag of stuff for you and the children. Either keep it with a trusted friend (tell as few people as possible and never tell a mutual friend) or hide it in the house.

If you can, tell a friend or relative.

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