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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Sam Vaknin

6 replies

BlackLetterDay · 08/09/2020 23:50

Has anyone listened to any of his stuff on YouTube? What do you think?

He totally seems to hit nails squarely on heads in describing the behaviour of people including me. As a self admitted narcissist though, how much do you trust his conclusions?

I'm intensely wary of him tbh, he seems dangerous. I only say this because another completely unrelated social media person I really enjoyed turned out to be a rapist and all round freaking sociopath. The warning signs were everywhere with him, he literally told people what he was in giant dayglo letters, still people loved him (including me) it was dismissed as a persona.

OP posts:
SoulofanAggron · 09/09/2020 00:40

I would prefer Richard Grannon. Vankin I've only really seen on Grannon's channel and he seems a little dry and creepy to me.

If you get something from Vankin's stuff then watch it. You're not having anything personally to do with him (I assume?) so you're ok.

Has anyone accused Vankin of anything? If so, you could stop watching him in support of them. If not, you could keep watching for now.

GilbertMarkham · 09/09/2020 00:57

He's certainly a bit cold and slightly creepy.

I like Todd grande - he's very measured and a bit Vulcan but seems very balanced.

BlackLetterDay · 09/09/2020 05:04

Thanks for the replies I'm not invested in any way, was just curious of peoples opinions. His YouTube replies seem universally non critical.

I went off Richard Grannon when he was farting about with that YouTube influencer and trying to hide the fact he was vaping something. If you can't do that in the open, I don't think you have as much insight as you claim, all artifice.

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 09/09/2020 05:13

I have watched many of Vaknin's youtube offerings. What he does on youtube is basically found in his book. He describes my exH very thoroughly. I like the detail and also several discussions on overlap and whether definitions of various personality disorders and distinctions among them should necessarily be written in stone

He is certainly dry, and English isn't his first language, but really thorough

Jana756 · 09/09/2020 05:13

I do, though I only do so when I'm not likely to be 'triggered' (urgh! hate that word!) by what he's talking about - he does tend to be brutally honest, but that can be a good thing, too.

In an area of psychology where so many provide endless, unsupported content based on nothing but their own experience - Vaknin's work is cutting-edge, well researched & supported, and (considering the concepts & ideas involved), accessible, too. I've certainly learned things from him that I'd never have learned from anybody else.

Initially when I started watching him, I thought the same - dry, somewhat boring & difficult to listen to; however with hindsight I think that may have been a lack of familiarity with his style. He's actually quite funny sometimes! (Anything with him & Richard Grannon is well worth a couple of hours - I actually prefer RG, but for academic content & new research concepts, SV is superior).

.....and 'creepy'? I should hope so....he's been diagnosed with NPD + ASPD several times over......there would be a problem if you didn't recognise him as creepy! ;)

  • Creepy doesn't mean that he can't be intellectually useful though. In fact, being a 'Cerebral Narcissist', there is some argument for him being MORE trustworthy (intellectually speaking) than the average neurotypical person. His vanity & self-concept lies in adherence to the rigorous rules, regulations & processes of academia, research & learning; to not do so would be to undermine himself.

He reportedly has a measured IQ of approx. 180 (seriously - he reports that he was tested 3 times, & was a 'child genius' in his home country of Israel). His backstory is fascinating (presuming it's true, of course?!). The other factor to remember is that his 'narcissistic supply' is largely based on attention, adulation, praise he gets as a result of his work.

As he says himself - never forget what he is. After that, as long as you're not his spouse / involved with him personally, take what is useful & leave the rest. :)

IAmFleshIAmBone · 09/09/2020 05:17

I like Todd grande - he's very measured and a bit Vulcan but seems very balanced

I love Dr Grande! He's my favourite psychologist to watch on YouTube.

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