Think he texted the wrong person !!

[Willowmartha1]

The guy I have been seeing casually for a few months just messaged me this "how's Work going honey?". I'm pretty sure this wasn't meant for me as I don't work during the evening ! But I know his recent ex is a barmaid so can't help thinking this was meant for her even though he is adamant it's all over (she finished it) When I said 'ok, why do you want to ask ?!" He laughed it off and said not sure to be Honest just thought I'd ask!

Am I being paranoid that this message wasn't meant for me ?!

I wouldnt write him off just yet. Why would he text someone doing a bar shift? He could have sent it you earlier and youve just received it or are you just back at work after furlough or lockdown and he's checking in? You say it's casual so assume you've not seen him today

@Jute6555

Does he call you honey?

No surprise he uses the same nickname with you, he is squeezing you into her vacant spot.

I had a BF who started calling me "Baby". When I questioned it (mainly because it made me want to vomit) he said "I always call my GF's Baby". Dumped him

I have no issue with a nickname, but I will not just have a nickname plonked on me because the last incumbent is no longer around!

I am in hospitality and BF will say "Hows work" when I am there and "How was work" when I am not.

Bollocks, its for her.

We message every day and we had already messaged earlier today so it seemed a weird message, he never asks me about work either!

I would text 'how is work going' to someone I hadn't spoken to in a few days or longer and wouldn't worry about what time I sent it, even if they weren't at work at the time.

Especially (but not necessarily) if:
they have a stressful job
just changed job or any changes to work
complained about work

@Rigamorph yes I agree with you We never really discuss work so it came out the blue very random !

Hmmm, I would say trust that little voice inside your head telling you what you really think. Unless you’re always talking about your work with him and he’d remembered to ask how it is, it was meant for his ex.
Hopefully if it was meant for her and she really wanted out of that relationship she’ll be finding him incredibly annoying although that doesn’t help you, sorry 😐.

Dump him

Bloody heck, the number of relationships that must crash and burn because someone misinterpreted a text! Surely 'How's work going, honey?' means 'How are things at work GENERALLY?' not 'Are you pulling a pint and calling time at this very minute?'

I think it all depends on whether or not you've had the exclusive talk.

Because it's casual, in your mind you know he could be talking to others even though he may not be. I would carry on seeing him if that's what you want but after a few months are you wanting to be exclusive? Clear it up with him.

I agree with PP's that 'How's work going?' could be asked in general, but only to someone you haven't spoken to yet that day maybe, probably for a while, or who you know is facing some particularly difficult work situation.

Trust your instincts and either bin now or keep an eye out for any next time. x

Oh come on!!!!!

Loving everyone disappearing up their own backsides trying to corkscrew that into a reasonable text lol.

He did not randomly text OP to ask if her work was, in general, going ok, out of the blue this evening. And everyone knows it!

OP, I'd text him on Friday with something random then add 'Just thought I'd ask lol'

then cancel the date.

@Butteredtoast55

Bloody heck, the number of relationships that must crash and burn because someone misinterpreted a text! Surely 'How's work going, honey?' means 'How are things at work GENERALLY?' not 'Are you pulling a pint and calling time at this very minute?'

Totally agree, when I say "how was work?" I mean today... When I say "how's work going?". I mean overall, generally, how do feel about your working life?....

You know of it's not for you or you wouldnt be asking but if you are only casually seeing eachother, does it really matter.?

Maybe it's a regional thing? That's why the different interpretations?

What Fizzy said

Look at the tense of the question

If it were for you he would have asked how was your day, not how is your day gouhg?

You don't randomly text someone going 'how's work going?' if you're asking generally. It's usually part of a text convo, after 'hi' 'how are you?' etc.

If he randomly texted you 'how's work going honey?' there is no way that text was for you.

I wouldn’t finish it just yet.
I do think it was for someone else, but his slip-up is a gift - now you know where he’s at, and you can start looking for a good replacement if he doesn’t work out !

If you are not in an exclusive relationship and you’re just casually dating then I wouldn’t get rid of him tbh . If he had messaged you earlier in the evening , then came out with this later on , it’s pretty safe to assume he was intending to message someone else .
If you are not invested emotionally, and just having a fun time with each other I wouldn’t worry too much . If you are looking at him as potentially something more , then that’s different and I’d probably keep a very close eye on him , and consider moving on

If you’d already messaged that day then it clearly wasn’t for you and I’m not sure his ex is actually his ex

Over the years quite a few men I have had conversations have admited they use words like honey so they are never caught getting the woman´s name wrong...

@babybgonboard

I think you might be overthinking a little. If he calls you honey then it could have been for you. Asking how work is is just causal thing to ask to get conversation started.

When she's not at work?

You thought it was odd . Then it is .