A relationship where you meet every second weekend

[littlebitotartan]

Does anyone have this and can it work in your experience ?
Any tips? We live 30 minutes away from
Eachother with our own children.

Sounds perfect to me!

I've been doing this for 9 months but I'm struggling.
I have older teens he has primary school age. We had a weeks holiday together and that was the turning point for me, its showed me I want more.
He can't give me more but I like him too much to let him go.
I'm feeling anxious and horrible.
I think that having a full life, friends and hobbies that can keep you going when you are apart is key.
I'm working on that

Sounds great, given situ with young families. Enjoy

I'd love it.

But I'm older, live alone and my kids are adults.

Similar situation although very early days so not sure what will happen but we have been meeting up and we are thirty mins away from each other too. I'm just taking things as they come for now, it's tricky for me as I am a single mum and my eight year daughter has suspected ASD and it isn't always easy leaving her with her dad for an evening or night. We"ll see how it goes I guess !!

Seems very positive from most pps. Thanks

Why just every other weekend if you live so close?

Our children are young and we want to keep things private from them for now .

My current relationship of over a year, which is my first since splitting from ex husband, is Thursday 5pm until Monday 6.30am and then Thursday 5pm to Friday 3pm the following week. We both have kids but haven't introduced them to the relationship yet, delayed by Covid.
It works well, we tend to.keep in touch via WhatsApp when not together with the occasional chat, difficult with the kids around.
It works well, especially as we are 45 miles apart. I'm hoping at some point in the future we can blend out families but it's not practical.at the moment as aged 10, 11 and 13.
I really enjoy that our time together is just us, we go away for weekends and out for evenings.

I think it's an excellent idea. You make a effort are excited to see each other. They aren't there enough to get on Yr nerves the list goes on. You aren't tied up financially..... I love it!

@littlebitotartan

Does anyone have this and can it work in your experience ? Any tips? We live 30 minutes away from Eachother with our own children.

This is what we are looking at. Some time together every other weekend and maybe some time in the week now and then or possibly a meet up on my weekend with kids if we can fit in somewhere. I don't think there's anything wrong with this. Although now two years separated I've not introduced anyone to the kids and I think I'll always be concious of just how much a family is 'blended' until kids are older. I think there's no right or wrong answer just what the people involved are comfortable with. I'd like her to have a good relationship with my kids in time but I'm very concious of not putting 'upon her' so to speak.

Some weeks I meet see DP 1/2 evenings and stay overnight once, another week I might not see him at all, it depends on working patterns, what are DC are up to etc. We talk several times a day everyday. It works for us but definitely results in questions from friends and family, there's an expectation that you'll move in together and blend families after 12 months maximum and if you haven't it's not such a serious relationship. We were both single for a long time and are used to having our own space.

We both need to be close to work and schools, neither house is big enough for dc to have a room each plus an office for me, it just doesn't work, we're both divorced and recovering financially, there's lots to consider.

What about contact in between, ? Do find that crucial to maintaining connection ? My DP and I WhatsApp throughout the day. Sometimes a lot, sometimes not much at all. We never phone each other though, he seems to have a real aversion to that. He says a phone call is over quickly whereas messaging can go in throughout the day/evening and its like company. But I struggle with this

I speak to my bf most of the day on and off via WA and we speak on the phone maybe every couple of nights. It’s enough for me with having the kids to look after and take my attention.

I've done this for 7 years, although we are currently 3 hours apart (at points in those 7 years we have lived closer and seen each other more often but not lived together).

We agreed we wouldn't live together while DC were at home, a combination of him not wanting to live in a house as basically a lodger, and me not wanting to move my children from their childhood home. My DC are now over 18 and we are cautiously planning next steps, looking to get a house together where he lives, but I will keep my house here and still be here most of the time, but stay there one week a month.

It has worked for us, I look forward to a day when we live together but I never wanted to live with anyone WITH my children, so this has been the best solution.

Great to read the positive experiences (and aspirations!) here. I asked the same question when I was developing feeling for my now partner about 2 years ago. We're an hour apart, see each other every other weekend for kidfree time, often one evening in the week too, and have recently started spending occasional time together with our kids on the other weekend. Had 2 great holidays this summer - one with kids one without. Kids are still young, ranging 6-13 yrs.

I love the way it preserves the romance, intensity, and excitement, while allowing us to also focus on our respective kids and have our own space. I might struggle if DP didn't also have kids - the symmetry in our situations helps.

I was initially skeptical whether such an unconventional set-up would work. Suits us great, for the reasons pps have said. We one one difficult patch when one of us wanted a digital detox and some alone time, but learned a lot from that by communicating honestly about our respective needs.

Google Living Apart Together for more stories. I loved this one from Grace Dent: www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/jun/22/gwyneth-paltrow-happier-living-apart-from-partner-grace-dent

Very much heartened by @Jojobar 's post - nice to hear that LAT can work for the medium-long haul.

If this is what you both want then no reason why it shouldn't work. I enjoy some time without my BF but then sometimes I wish we saw more of each other. We see each other once or twice a week, WA throughout the day and speak on the phone most days.