What do you actually do when life ls like this

[Letterbixes]

I’m in therapy, as I know that’s key here. But fuck me my life feels like it’s shattered.

35, single, just about holding onto a job I worked bloody hard for, living in a place I can’t seem to sell, watching friends and family move forward with their lives. Ex boyfriends all married with families.

I had a car accident in January and still feel shaken by it. I had a horrible miscarriage with my last relationship last year, makes me wonder if I could even have kids.

My aunt and uncle died both in the last three months, I was very close to them. I’m going for a scan next week which I’m worried about. On top of all this, a good friend has been diagnosed with the worst thing imaginable with a short expectancy.

I feel terrified about what life is going to throw at me next. I wake up in the night panicky and crying. I’ve never been like this in my life before, even if I’ve have anxiety I’ve kept a hold of it. This is something else. Therapy helps, I recently took meds. But I can’t shake this horrendous fear about life and the sheer terrifying thought that I’m alone...I’m 35 and have nobody really, nobody significant who is mine and I theirs. It makes everything seem even scarier, nobody to share the day to day life troubles with.

If I knew I would face all of this a year ago I would honestly have chosen death. I don’t know how to deal with this heavy fearful weight and loss and sense of getting older alone. Just looking for words of support I suppose, it’s hard to talk about IRL.

I didn’t want to read and run, you have had to deal with so much in such a short space
of time.

I’m glad you’re accessing therapy, I know it’s hard to believe but it won’t always be like this

Go back to your GP hun. There are dozens of different things they can try.

These things, traumatic life events, bereavements and mental health issues, can take a while to process, but you will get there. xxx

Have you found therapy helpful? If you don't feel particularly impressed by it you could try another therapist. It can take a few goes to find a good fit.

EMDR therapy can be particularly helpful for the effects of painful memories.

So sorry to read this. This will pass, take all the help you can. 🌺🌺

Be kind to yourself. You've had a lot to deal with and need time to process. Things will get better but it does take time.

Well done on doing therapy and meds! It needs time, keep going. You really don't know what's round the corner - in a year's time you might find yourself really happy and content

Massive virtual hang hols and hug xxxx

hand hold typo!

About seven years ago I was going through a very similar time, bereavement, job loss, bullying and illness, along with massive debts and my child was ill..... I just didn't know what way is up. But one by one those things got easier, things resolved themselves or I learned to cope with it.... I'm in a much better place now. I'm not dancing down the street but please believe me when I say things get better. Sometimes we just have to endure life, it's awful and it's not fair but we have to keep going.

Counselling really helped me, more than anything else and I tried a lot of self help books, exercise ( helpful too but not as much).

You’ve had a huge amount to bear in a relatively short space of time. You’re still processing it all. I’m really glad the therapy helps. It won’t feel like this forever.

Gosh OP that’s a lot for anyone to deal with!

You’re only human so try not to be so hard on yourself for feeling this way, most people would feel the same given those circumstances. We all go through hard times in life but just like good times don’t last forever neither do bad times so my motto is always - this to shall pass. Be kind to yourself and maybe look into meditation / mindfulness as it might help calm your mind a little when you start to panic. You still have time to meet someone and start a family 35 is still very young and as traumatic as the miscarriage must have been for you it’s proof you can get pregnant, miscarriages are just unfortunately a very common part reproduction. What will be will be so stay strong

The first thing is to be kind to yourself, anyone would be struggling going through all that in a short period of time
It’s good that you have a therapist to talk to. I don’t have brilliant advice, but I will say that I’ve been there and things do get better.

In the space of a year, I experienced two bereavements of close family members, my relationship broke down and I was struggling to find a job.
Towards the end of that year I met my DP and three years on, life had improved so much. I have a job, a nice place to live and I’m doing better. The present isn’t forever, the future is always changeable, please don’t write yourself off OP