My Dad....where is he????

[Screaminglips]

If any of you remembered that i got back in touch with my Dad a few months ago for the sake of my DD which was a happy outcome as he stopped drinking....first time ever since my parents split up after 25 yrs of marriage. Me and my bro were never close to our Dad as he was more of a father provider than a father figure - iykwim?

Anyway...i havent spoken to him since june as last time i spoken to him..i said that i come down to his but DD came out in Chicken pox..and then ive been busy doing the bathroom that seems to drag on forever!! and it was my DD's bday last monday (Dads "only" grandchild) but ive not had nothing off him.....ive been ringing him on his mobile all week it was either ringing out or battery was flat...ive left messages for him to call me but he simply CANT BE ARSED!!!!

im doing all the running round (again!!). A few times before i had my DD i got bored of running round and gave up, then restarted it again a few years later cos it was upsetting me seeing my Dad drunk... (i only ever seen my Dad drunk toward the end of my parents marriage)

He cant be bothered to make an effort to come to my house as hes got no car...sometimes ive got no car and i still have to make an effort as its Train/another train/ 20mins - a half an hour walk through town centre!

(my dp got a similar relationship to his Dad but at least his Dad makes the effort (in the last 4 yrs) to come here as hes got no car and lives in the same areas as my Dad does)

What do i do???????

you need to do what is best for you and your family hun.If you are 100% sure that he just cant be arsed then you are not being unfair in cutting him out to protect yourself and dd from future dissapointments.you cannot just keep going out of way for him,its all about give and take.

Stop running around after him and concentrate instead on your own self and family unit. Alcoholics are some of the most selfish and self centered people in the entire world. He will continue to disappoint you.

I would talk with Al-anon as well; think you need to talk with someone also impartial about your father, his drinking and how it has affected and continues to affect you.

It seems that he never made an effort with you anyway; such people rarely if ever change. You gave him a chance and he's subsequently thrown it back in your face. Hard as it is you're going to have to walk away if you want to save your own self from any more emotional anguish.

well hes not drinking anymore due to his high blood pressure - drink related. He had told me that his battery is rubbish and doesnt last long so therefore he doesnt know his phone had been flat till he looked at it and doesnt have money to call me back!!...so i know once i can ring him...there be missed phone calls from me

so i just sit back and wait?.....he'll never ring me!

If he wanted to see you/contact you, he would.

What about sending him a letter or card saying that you think of him often and wish you could see more of him but that you are struggling to contact him. Then the ball is in his court. If he does get in touch you know he is trying and if he doesn't you know where you stand and you can concentrate on moving on - as hard as it may be.

yes thats a good idea to post him a letter/card and we will go from there

thanks for your advices x