Feel so bloody alone!

[Itsallpointless]

Just that really. Try to keep myself busy, but sometimes just hits me and I'm feeling very alone this last week.

Single 2 years, not necessarily looking for a relationship, just feel unwanted. A rubbish day today for some reason.

Anyone else?

I empathize. Been single for 5 years, XH left me for my friend while I was pregnant... I am an immigrant and had to start all over after divorce with no family and XH's friends (that I had adopted) gone. I was able to forge another two very close friendships... They are both going back to our home country. One in a couple of weeks, the other next year. I feel all alone again. To be honest, I longed a relationship for some time, but having friends helped not to feel alone.

That been said I invited two coworkers and a stranger for coffee this week and may take a date offer from online dating. I have a couple of friends who I meet twice or three times a year. If I had more of those it would be easier to fill my kids free days with some good chats and nice times. What I would suggest if you have the time is a hobby

Thanks for all your replies, having a better day today, no idea why.

I think I see too many'couples' and convince myself the 'have it all'.

Hard to motivate oneself when there's nobody to motivate yourself for, yes I have me, but it's not quite the same is it?!

Being single is still far more preferable than a bad relationship. I'm far happier now than when I was in my last relationship. I was really unhappy then.

I'd love to say it's the time of the month, but that ship has well and truly sailed

What about your friendships? I would nurture these - old and new.

I have been single for a while now and have put efforts into friendships, acquaintances and dating and have had the best of all worlds, to my mind. There are people available for whatever I want to do and whenever I want to do it; eating out, drinks, cinema, dog walks, wine tasting, axe throwing next week

And I have my downtime whenever I want it, just me and the dog chilling on the sofa at home, reading or watching a film.

Invest in all your possible relationships, not just one relationship. Nurture and support all your friendships and build new ones too and that will help.

Be motivated by these individual encounters as well. I think I know what you mean- when you're in a relationship you are motivated to build a life together, to have ongoing mutual support. But nothing in life is guaranteed; be motivated to enjoy friendships and interactions however they come your way!

@suggestionsplease1 great post thanks. I get what you mean about nurturing friendships, but this is where my low self esteem lets me down. I feel I'm intruding, I feel rejected if my request is turned down or not reciprocated, I feel unliked. I'm very fragile in this area, though you'd never know that if you knew me!

I have friends, and I have acquaintances, I should really invest more in those I feel comfortable with, and then find the confidence to explore new ones

Tis true that nothing is guaranteed, and who's to say you'll grow old together anyway? You've certainly prompted me to do something here

hi op i can relate to feeling alone too. some days it just hits hard and the weirdest things can trigger it. the world does seem geared up for couples. also relate to other posters saying how easy it seems for scumbag exes to find someone while we are left alone. it's shit. the ideal arrangement is def a partner you don't live with. but i do wish there was someone to give a hug after a shit day. and it's so hard to find someone online people mainly seem to want multiple hook ups rather than build a relationship. hard to trust people too as have been let down by a lot of people who i considered friends so not easy to build up a friend circle etc it seems the more you give of yourself to others the more ways they have of hurting you. ok i am rambling here probably of no help but you are def not alone. i think trying to think of the positive helps altho hard at times

[quote Itsallpointless]@suggestionsplease1 great post thanks. I get what you mean about nurturing friendships, but this is where my low self esteem lets me down. I feel I'm intruding, I feel rejected if my request is turned down or not reciprocated, I feel unliked. I'm very fragile in this area, though you'd never know that if you knew me!

I have friends, and I have acquaintances, I should really invest more in those I feel comfortable with, and then find the confidence to explore new ones

Tis true that nothing is guaranteed, and who's to say you'll grow old together anyway? You've certainly prompted me to do something here[/quote]
I know exactly what you mean, and it is so easy to feel like that, especially in the aftermath of upset. And you can become entrenched in that if you indulge it, and if you interpret knock backs as personal slights.

I choose not to interpret them that way. I get knocked back frequently, and I'm sure some of the time it possibly is about me But I don't look at it that way - I see people with their own lives, families, pre-existing friendships, possible hardships, concerns, neuroses of their own - all that I may never know anything about.

And I may fit in, in a way, that suits them and suits me! No pressure! If I can be more supportive because I sense that is what I can offer and it is welcome and opportune, I can do that. If I'm a bit-part in someone else's life because they are mostly full-up already - well I can do that too!

Don't take anything personally, Forgive all of the little stuff...but none of the big stuff! Have your standards.

Ain’t that the truth?!

[quote Itsallpointless]@suggestionsplease1 great post thanks. I get what you mean about nurturing friendships, but this is where my low self esteem lets me down. I feel I'm intruding, I feel rejected if my request is turned down or not reciprocated, I feel unliked. I'm very fragile in this area, though you'd never know that if you knew me!

I have friends, and I have acquaintances, I should really invest more in those I feel comfortable with, and then find the confidence to explore new ones

Tis true that nothing is guaranteed, and who's to say you'll grow old together anyway? You've certainly prompted me to do something here[/quote]
You wouldn't be intruding. Lots of women in relationships need good friends - I know I do - to enjoy fun with and to support them in their lives. If there's someone like that in your social group, start to make more effort. Text or send a funny pic or show them something you're doing. Who knows what connections it might lead to. X

I'm 57 and was single for over 20 years. I was very lonely for much of that time. I invested like hell in friendships but it's a couples' world it seems. I ended up feeling I must be horribly defective in some way I couldn't see. And during all this time, exH had one girlfriend after another. (They all left him HAHA because he's a selfish dick.)

My two points are these: it's never too late to meet someone. And being alone and lonely doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. Oh, and people aren't in relationships because they "deserve" it. Lots of them are assholes.

Don’t always envy couples !
You don’t knows what goes on behind close doors

What I mean is out & about people smile, a lot is probably fake. We always think other people are have this happy wonderful relationship
There outside and put a face on
They may have had a blazing row 5 mins before
Relationship are very hard to work on, lots of give & take

Hi. I've had quite a few lonely times recently. You are not alone OP.

Recently I've tried to get out and about a bit more. This has helped. I've had some socially distanced meet ups. Have you tried this?

Having hobbies you can get utterly absorbed in and make at least acquaintances from, helps.

I am totally happy single. Completely. Just me and my dog in our little house together. But every now and then I think... I just want to chat to someone about stupid stuff.

But the feeling passes. I have adult children I can moan to, and that helps. I am never living with another man ever again, not even for the companionship; I'll just get another dog.

Hope the improvement in weather improves everyone's mood. It's really easy to get down when you're shut indoors with the wind beating at the door, but sunshine makes things feel nicer. Makes people smilier too!

Recently separated and while not truly single, I have a lot of time to fill. It's hard to make new female friends who aren't busy with husbands or families

I’d second the suggestion of looking for threads covering this issue. So many wise words have been said and they remain true even if they are not active threads.

I would rather be alone and perhaps lonely at times than be in a shitty relationship. Living with someone who has all but abandoned you is not a life worth living. Give me peace and solitude any day.
Grass is AstroTurf. Lots of people in relationships are unsatisfied some terribly abused.
I think you are fabulous for being honest about how you feel and getting on with life.
Don’t envy your ex. Such people don’t have genuine relationships it’s always an act.