I have been in a sexless marriage for many years and it's causing me some considerable pain. My MH has taken a turn for the worse but I realised and got help. Its coming to a head as we are getting to the age where baby making is limited timeframe...
Communication with the DW has been non existent....sort of a unwritten 'we know where we are heading' so dont need to chat. But I couldn't cope, broke down and said things needed to change. Fast forward nearly a year and some of the elephants in the room are now being addressed.
She has issues with me basically. Says that I don't appreciate some of the stuff that she does eg writing the shopping list or planning food for the week. I do the actual shop. She highlighted a time months back when I had dropped a sock on the floor and didn't pick it up till next day. And thats why she doesn't want sex with me... and implied that it wont change unless I buck my ideas up
I do a hell of a lot... and yes I admit I'm not like OCD tidy but I'm tidy. I'm just left drained... seriously... if its down to that then I dont know where to go. She is very critical of what I do - she will always tell me that I am doing something wrong. I used to just nod and suck it up ... but I've started to be less passive. Generally nothing I ever do is good enough... nothing is correct or its always my fault. She often says something like "oh you havent hoovered I see".. and then I say "yes I have, I did it when you were out" and then I say "would you please apologise". She will always just say "no way"
She refuses to go to individual therapy, she is dragging her heals on couples. No doubt the one I select wont be good enough. She says I am killing the marriage through lack of affection, which I agree, but wont understand when I explain why I struggle to be affectionate. Its almost like she knows that her trying to be affectionate will upset me. She has played the 'you've taken away the chance of me having children' and also saying that Im deluded that there are all these couples out there bonking away the whole time.