Fuck! I think DP has death grip

[HelloPonDiOtherSide]

Name changed as this is deeply personal.

Having read the recent thread about another mumsnetter and her new DP being unable to climax, then googling death grip I think DH has it.

We have been together for 15 years. For the first half we had sex everyday/most days and mostly it was a great relationship. Then DC came along and things changed. We sleep in separate rooms due to snoring which obviously affects availability. I know he watches porn. This upsets me but all men do it etc etc.

We probably have sex every few weekends and mostly after drinking. He now struggles to come and as it's usually very active, we sort of give up once I'm knackered - I'm much less fit than him and a tad overweight. I always thought it was because of drinking (and a mix of me being overweight and him finding me less attractive) as it used to happen in the past but now it most times. He does come quickly from blowjobs when sober.

I'm not really sure what I want from this thread but I'm really not sure how to process this and it's quite upsetting to realise. I suppose just other people's experiences of this would really help. I feel like I need to do a test sex run when he's sober 😳 that won't be much fun.

Doesn't really sound like death grip to me? I think a lot of men get like this after they've been drinking. Also there may be a lot of pressure for him if it's become a rare occurance.

Is there anything you can do to get back into the same bed? That might help.

@HelloPonDiOtherSide

Name changed as this is deeply personal.

Having read the recent thread about another mumsnetter and her new DP being unable to climax, then googling death grip I think DH has it.

We have been together for 15 years. For the first half we had sex everyday/most days and mostly it was a great relationship. Then DC came along and things changed. We sleep in separate rooms due to snoring which obviously affects availability. I know he watches porn. This upsets me but all men do it etc etc.

We probably have sex every few weekends and mostly after drinking. He now struggles to come and as it's usually very active, we sort of give up once I'm knackered - I'm much less fit than him and a tad overweight. I always thought it was because of drinking (and a mix of me being overweight and him finding me less attractive) as it used to happen in the past but now it most times. He does come quickly from blowjobs when sober.

I'm not really sure what I want from this thread but I'm really not sure how to process this and it's quite upsetting to realise. I suppose just other people's experiences of this would really help. I feel like I need to do a test sex run when he's sober 😳 that won't be much fun.

Alcohol definitely won't help, I won't have sex with my partner drunk because it just goes on and on and on. Boring and to be honest once I literally didn't move it was just him 😂 he got the point and we said that won't be happening again. But try and get him to a doctor or something because you're clearly very upset

@HelloPonDiOtherSide

However he also has an issue of a right foreskin that he refuses to get seen

Assume this should read "tight" ?

Well this might explain some of it as they can get worse over time. He probably needs a circumcision to sort it properly....and to reassure you circumcised can be really nice.

I had an experience of this once, turns out he didnt have deathgrip...yay, but he was a coke head...not so yay.

Haha. Yes a tight one! He's a bit of a dick about it. Says sometimes he wants to just rip it off but won't go to the professionals to do it. I get the fear that at some point I think the whole thing could fall off and then I'd be less than happy 🤣

We are going to be home together and alone a few days a week for a while until offices open fully. Might try and hop on and see what happens. Could relive our youth.

These answers are really helping! Thanks so much for all your kind words. I thought maybe a blowjob is quite intense so gets the same bits as he does. I would love it if I've made a mountain out of a molehill. For once.

OP how old is he?

Mid 30s. Why? He's not a coke head though he's not opposed to the occasional sniff like a stag do or something 🙄

A tight foreskin doesn't necessarily need circumcision. DH had an op to fix his, as did BIL interestingly (maybe runs in the family, who knows). No circumcision necessary for either of them. Day surgery, took 20 mins and was healed a week later. Encourage him to see the GP.

@GunsAndShips that's interesting! What did they do, if you don't mind me asking?

I've tried but he said it's a difficult thing to see the doctor about and he has it in his head he will have to get an erection in front of the doctor so they can see it and have a play! I don't think they need to do that. Like a power up from anime where he roars and tenses and then bam... here doc, look at this!

www.baus.org.uk/patients/conditions/13/tight_foreskin_phimosis/

Ffs..no doctor is going to make him get an erection to demonstrate .

Do you have kids?? Does he appreciate what a woman has to do/show in association with childbirth?

He needs to understand that this is really affecting you. And do something the fuck about it. Dont pander to this pathetic menz cant possibly go to the GP because pride bolleaux.