it's been 4 weeks now since H's shock announcment that he wanted a divorce. I have been home since that day and gone back to the house twice. once leaving after an awful arguement. anyhow, today my DB and his GF brought their scan pics down (12 week ones) for all to see - I want to get intrested and involved but it's just so hard for me to - I had a m/c 1st sept, I was 4 weeks further on than SIL.
all I keep thinking is I should be ahving my scan pics, I should be 16 weeks PG by now and happy at home with my husband
saw H yesterday and things are pretty set. he's sure this is what he wants but there's spo many un answered q's for me - I want to move forward but can't for the mo - he won't change his living status so I can't get an eviction notice, the council won't help me and now my parents are getting funny.
I don't know what will become of us (DS and I) or where we'll end up - and it scares the life out of me. I know I have a good support network in RL, with family althou not really any friends here any more.
I went to a fmaily party tonight hoping to at least have a smile and ended up coming home after 1 drink and an hour - what good is going out if your make up looks crap cos you're crying??
to make things worse tonight i've texted H and asked if he's sure this is what he wants and if he's happier without us there - the hosue is such a shit tip it's unbeleiveable. i'm ment to be moving back there next week till we get evicted (prob 4 months ish) and will have to stay there alone all over the xmas period . have had no reply form H - it's not reached his phone I assumne he's in his room - in which case he's doing god knows what wiht god knows whom after going out on the piss last night.