Pedantic DH

[troublingtimes]

I’m really struggling with talking to my DH at the moment. I need some advice on a) how to handle it and b) if I’m being oversensitive. Whatever we are talking about...the weather, dogs, dinner, boats...it doesn’t matter. He tells me I’m wrong. Not directly like that but it’s become an argumentative style. Belligerent and authority like/teacher/preachy. So I’ll say “the sky looks really dark looks like rain” and he’ll say “no it’s not. That’s just clouds and it won’t rain” it sounds ridiculous but he disagrees with EVERY word that comes out of my mouth. Every single phrase. Anything I say. Why is he doing this? How can I stop this? It’s putting me off chatting to him

Also note that if this is a recent change in behaviour, people sometimes act like this when they have met someone new, as they are comparing the new relationship with the everyday one, and become more annoyed and less patient/respectful with their partner.

He sounds like an arrogant, disrespectful prick. What a fucking bore. Tell him to fuck off.

I wouldn't bother with witty comebacks I would tell him that his know it all misogynistic mansplaining attitude is horrid and you don't want to spend time on his company anymore and is that what he wants.

Behind the scenes get your ducks in a row in case things don't improve...

My H is like that. Long ago back story. But he “becomes the worlds expert” on everything ... Gold in India, Tractors, farming. (We are City people). And Centre of Attention. Whatever I say, it must be the opposite.

I think it’s just the blinkers have fallen off. We are not “together” together. Councillor suggested he is a narcissist.
I do not start any conversations, because I know he will know better.

I don’t have any answers, and yes, life is shit.

Take it from personal first hand experience, sort it out (either he acknowledges and stops or you leave him) before your DC are older.

They will start to emulate his behaviour (unwittingly) and trust me, living in a house where EVERYBODY argues with EVERYTHING you say is fucking soul destroying.

Mine always says "You may be right". Aarrgh

Do the exact same thing back to him. Starting from tomorrow - contradict and disagree with every single thing he says and do it all day - see if he notices.

Sadly though, as another poster pointed out, when my ex started doing this it was because he was having an affair.

God this sounds intolerable! Have you pointed this out to him? Sorry sounds daft! But I wonder if he knows he's actually doing it? Or doing it as much? Feel like that is the quite generous interpretation. He could just be an arrogant prick. For me it would be quite hard to want to be near someone like that nevermind engage with them. Because the other interpretation is that he is doing it to make you feel like shit.

Option 1 - "Oh, I didn't realise you were a chemist / meteorologist / doctor / whatever," roll your eyes and change the subject.

Option 2 - Sit him down, tell him what he's doing, give examples, ask him why he's doing it then stop talking. Listen to his explanation and go from there.

Option 3 - go nuclear.