I’ve taken advice from my partner and my brother on this, however I really think I need an impartial point of view.
I’ve never had a brilliant relationship with my mum, she grew up in care in the 70s and was abused, subsequently she had terrible mental health and we had a lot of family issues which still effect me to this day. Shes still a big part of my life but I find her incredibly hard work, she has however been very supportive when I’ve gone through bad stuff myself.
The issue I’m having is this - she is married but separated from her partner, this is because he was extremely emotionally and financially abusive, during that time I was her emotional crutch so to speak, she would phone me every day, distraught, depressed, crying. Along with my encouragement she finally decided to leave, this all had to be done quietly, she lived on the south coast and me in London at this time. I helped her find services, picked her up drove her around to multiple appointments, wrote her letters, looked after her important documents etc, after a fight a tbh very terrible DV support from those supposed to help we manage to get her a flat in a supported housing complex near me in London. Great. My brother and I helped her move in, went with her to second hand stores to get her new stuff and she left with nothing. All seemed to be going well, even in lockdown she was going out walking her assistance dog, she gained a LOT of her confidence and independence back and it was great to see, had her hair done, new clothes etc that she hadn’t had in years. It was great to see.
Recently she’s been going back to where she lived on the south coast with her husband - under the guise of assistance dog training with a lady she knows there, she has been lying to me and my brother that she’s staying there in a disabled caravan and she has basically been caught out lying - she’s staying with her ex husband. She doesn’t know that I know yet but I have been ignoring her calls because I am SO angry with her. She’s also been dropping hints she doesn’t want to live in the supported housing anymore because despite being disabled she’s very independent and only 55, she finds it depressing and like she’s surrounded by so much death - not helped by the fact she’s not allowed any visitors due to COVID-19 and that could be in place for a very very long time to come.
My question really is how to handle this, I’m angry and disappointed in the fact she’s lying and that she is putting herself back in a situation we all fought so hard to get her out of.