Living separately advice.

[Hcwxxx]

We've been together 4 years. Not married. I have 1 child. He has 3.

I set my home up before I met him. Everything in it is mine. He has never contributed to helping buy anything big other than a fridge . I do most of the DIY. Decorating etc. He doesn't do a lot for me.

The relationship has been rocky. He has cheated on me through sexting. He has had a gambling addiction I've helped him through amongst other things.
His children stay here a couple times a week. They're not keen on him and only come over to see me and my son.

I've asked him to find his own place. He is 45. Works full time. Earns the same as me.
He has never had to live on his own.
He needs to grow up and I think this will help him plus I'm sick of doing everything myself.

He has no savings. He is borrowing money off his mum for the deposit.

I've tried to explain he needs money for kettle, pots pans etc. The absolute basics.
He doesn't see this as a necessity.
I can't get through to him.
the only money he has is what's left of his wage packet from this month.

Anyone else had to deal with a 45 year old teenager????

Why are you with him? What are you getting out of the relationship?

Why are you with him?

No and I wouldn't even try. He sounds dreadful, why are you so desperate to try and salvage a relationship with him?

What do you get out of this relationship now?. You must be getting something out of this so what is it?. Are you with him really out of a fear of being alone?.

What did you learn about relationships when you were growing up? Why are both your relationship bar and boundaries so terribly low?. What happened here to you to get to this point?.

Enabling him as you have done does not work and only gives you a false sense of control. Are you codependent as well; why are his needs here more important than yours?. You further enabled him when it came to his gambling problem. Who taught you that being a rescuer or saviour here was somehow worth it because it truly is not. He has and is taking you for a complete mug here and you're sadly letting him do this to you. Truly you do not value your own self here at all and that also shows in your overall lack of boundaries with regards to his cheating and gambling.

You already have a child; what do you want to teach him about relationships and what is he learning here?. You patently do not need a 45 year old gambler and cheat.

I've tried to explain he needs money for kettle, pots pans etc. The absolute basics.
He doesn't see this as a necessity.
I can't get through to him.

Why do you insist on playing the part of his mother? He’ll figure it out, necessity is the mother of all invention.

Yeah, he's an adult, leave him to sort it out for himself.

Meanwhile, you can sort through why you want a 45 year old teenager rather than a partner.

He has cheated on me through sexting. He has had a gambling addiction I've helped him through amongst other things.

He has never contributed to helping buy anything big other than a fridge

Why on earth are you with this man-child?