Representing yourself in court..

[Mummybiscuitx]

During child contact proceedings.
ExP is litigant in person..
Is it laughable or should I be concerned?
Anyone's ex represented themselves in court?
Interested to hear experiences.

We both represented ourselves when my ex took me to court (in the hope of getting a contact order for our 14 year old daughter who didn't want to spend holidays with him). It was fairly straightforward...just keep to the facts (not feelings , thoughts or assumptions).

Thank you. I presume he didn't get a CO?..

I was and no one laughed at me. A court representative just explained the procedure to me.

Family courts seek the best interests of children, it's not about winning or losing. Having said that, I left with the situation that suited my DC and felt happy with that.

My ex did and he got everything he asked for and more.
His exdp had a solicitor and she was a huge waste of money, she actually made her look as if she was preventing contact and causing problems. So many empty threats and nitpicking.

Worse is my ex stopped contact a month after the final order, decided he couldn't me arse, I broke up with him because of it ( and other stuff) and spoke to his exdp as we both have a dc from him.

She was so broken by it all and the huge bill she got.

So no it doesn't mean he won't get contact. People don't realise there is a basic plan that the court follows for pretty much all cases.
It may help having a solicitor for the small bits you want and to draw up the statements but really they are there for the argument between both of you and a Judge doesn't care about that.

Most private law (family) cases are litigants in person now. The court personal are v used to dealing with this and will be (should be) helpful. We have been doing a lot of cases remotely (by phone or teams) which makes things more difficult in some ways, but easier in others.

If the one self-representing can’t/won’t behave in an impartial/inemotive manner, self-representation is not recommended.

If it is your ex self representing, there’s nothing to be concerned about your end but typically not great for him.

If it’s you, stick to the facts and dissociate from the person!

@Mummybiscuitx

Thank you. I presume he didn't get a CO?..

Sorry, I should have said,no he didn't . He went into court with the attitude that by exaggerating his side of the story and bad mouthing me he would get what he wanted...but the court looks for what's best for the child and doesn't take kindly to "he said/she said" defense.

Don't get drawn in , calmly stick to the facts , stay reasonable.

In my case I offered him twice weekly contact ...which he didn't want because he'd moved 250 miles away so didn't suit. He wanted school holiday time only. The judge understood why my daughter wouldn't want that when she didn't see her dad on a regular basis outside of those periods...and they were openly critical of his proposed arrangement.