Deleting ex partner

[Lor6126]

My current newish partner has requested I delete two exes off FB. I Think he s being unreasonable and have refused to do so. I don’t have any particular conversations with them and one none at all. I just don’t see why I should pander to him feeling insecure over nothing. Am I in the wrong here ?

No, you've done nothing wrong and this would be a red flag for me for potentially controlling/insecure behaviour.

I'd say "nah mate" and see what he does about it.

Nope! If you comply, it's a clear sign that you'll do ask he asks in general. Fuck that

Absolutely, start as you mean to go on.

Nah, mate.

If you don't really talk to them, why have them on social media? I'm not having a go, I'm just asking.

If you spoke to them regularly then yeah I'd be telling him no

I have several exes on facebook, we dont really 'talk' but I like to know they are ok, I got on well with their families, will click on and 'like' cute pictures of their kids. I like to think they are happy to see that I am happy now, as I am for them.

I think if you are sufficiently mature you don't have to eliminate any history of previous partners.

Is your new BF sufficiently mature?

he is asking you to prioritise him over your ex's... the one's that apparently don't mean anything any more... why is this an issue for you?

An excellent opportunity to say no and see how he handles it. If he takes it badly, that is another massive red flag (on top of the asking you to do it in the first place).

@CyberNan

he is asking you to prioritise him over your ex's... the one's that apparently don't mean anything any more... why is this an issue for you?

Because a new partner who has no reason not to trust you, also has no right to tell you who you can be friends or acquaintances with. It is deeply insecure at best, and more likely the beginnings of controlling behaviour which is abusive.

If you don't really talk to them, why have them on social media? I'm not having a go, I'm just asking.
If you spoke to them regularly then yeah I'd be telling him no

I think he'd have more of a point being arsey about the exes on social media if she was talking to them regularly (or being flirty with them), surely? As it is, why should she clear her friends list of people he doesn't approve of? What comes next? Blokes who are friends?

he is asking you to prioritise him over your ex's... the one's that apparently don't mean anything any more... why is this an issue for you?
Why is he threatened by this? How is FB friendship prioritising them over him? Presumably her time, attention and effort goes on him.

If you don't even talk to them on there why are they still on your friend's list?

You're not doing anything wrong, so i agree, him asking you to delete them is unreasonable and I would also say no

Christ, fuck off bellend.

My DP has 2 exes on his FB. I don't love it but its nowt to do with me and I'd never expect him to delete!

@CyberNan

he is asking you to prioritise him over your ex's... the one's that apparently don't mean anything any more... why is this an issue for you?

Op please don't listen to this shite. Adults with normal self esteem do not measure their worth by testing out SM pecking orders with a new partner. They just don't.

Your fella is checking to see how pathetic and demanding he can be without scaring you off. Don't pander to this kind of thing, you'll just end up mired in a shit, controlling relationship with a jealous, petulant child for a partner.

Just say no. New bloke sounds immature.

How come he knows so much about who you have on FB and what their connection to you is?

Check your privacy settings, and how much you are sharing with a newish partner.

Do not agree to this! How he reacts if you say no will be very telling and please don't ignore the massive red flag he may wave at you.
We had my ex boyfriend at our wedding. Dh knows we're still friends and wouldn't dream of being a dick about it!

I had an 'ex' who kept all her previous boyfriends on Facebook. Didn't really think much of it except she would be constantly messaging them discussing our relationship with them also asking for favours, borrowing this and that. Remember visiting her mother's house in Cornwall and going up the stairs were 4 separate photos of her with 4 exes. Bit like a trophy walk every morning going down the stairs. Personally I don't get it, an ex is exactly that. The last thing I'd want is any of my exes nosing in on my life.

Erm, OP is prioritising him over her exes, because she is in a relationship with him, with all that this entails. She gives him her time and her emotions. She may wash his skiddy pants for all we know. She gives her exes less than a second of her time every so often if she sees an update on FB. How much more prioritised must this controlling boyfriend be?

The next thing will be him telling her what to wear - would that be her prioritising her clothing over him?

This is a red flag OP, as others have said. Normal people have exes on FB for all the reasons others have stated.

Not because he wants you to but do you still keep in touch/friends etc. If you don't ever see them/chat etc then I would delete but then I have a small group of people on my friendship list. Some people have thousands of 'friends' and seem teens/young people seem to love the mass number/chase as many as possible.

Big red flag. Bin him.

I will bet there are a fair few women reading this post that have demanded the same thing of their partners. It's all controlling behaviour and it needs stamping down on.

He is saying he can already tell you can't be trusted. He has to watch out for you shagging around with your exes. Fuck that. What possible benefit to him is there of you deleting your exes?