Advice needed - is it ok if he’s messaging other girls

[SingleJam1990]

So I’ve been chatting to this guy for 6 weeks now on a daily basis, we’ve met 4 time’s (due to other commitments from both sides) we get on really well and the texts are flirtatious, however yesterday he told me he’s had offers for cuddles and more from other girls, I laughed it off and said they wouldn’t be as good as mine but should I be concerned cos I got kind of jealous but it’s still early days is it fair that he’s been messaging other girls or should he just be focused on me?

He's playing games, trying to get you to do the 'pick me' dance. Bin him off. You may not have had the chat about exclusivity yet but he's manipulating you!

What a childish idiot. Don't engage and do the pick me dance!
He only said that to make you jealous and insecure.
This isn't going to go well for you.

How old are you both?

Bleuhhh ‘cuddles and more’ that would be enough to LTB in my books!
6 weeks and 4 dates in, he’s clearly telling you he’s dating other people so not overly invested in you or committed.
Now you get to decide if this is acceptable to YOU or not?
What do you want??

My concern is why is he telling you? Was it to make you jealous? Was it to let you know he still considers himself single and stop you thinking it is an exclusive relationship? Or to 'encourage' you to get in there first and have sex (if you haven't already)? To make you competitive with those other women and make you work harder to be the 'winner' of the prize that is him?

Non of which are mature ways to conduct a relationship even if it's not exclusive!

It's a clear "I've got other offers of sex, sooo...."

He's letting you know that he is looking around still. If you sleep with him now (if you haven't already) there's no guarantee he will stop looking. Personally I would prefer someone who only sees one woman at a time!
Do you expect him to be exclusive, or not?

Please be smart enough to know this man is nothing but trouble. Dump and block.

You're wasting your time with him, he's not really into you and he's trying to make you jealous. The only times I've chatted to other when seeing someone was when I wasn't really into them, and only for a week or 2, not 6.

Well there is nothing wrong with him messaging or seeing other woman at this stage but I'd be wondering why he has told me. Surely he should just keep that to himself?

If it were me I'd end things just now. He seems a bit of a game player. I couldn't be arsed with this sort of behaviour.

Have you slept with him? If you haven't then don't.

As others have said, it's ok that he's doing it at this stage imo but why tell you? Next time he asks to meet, I'd be tempted to tell him to meet one of the 'other girls' but of course, that is petty.

He sounds silly.
And by "cuddles" does he mean sex?
It's sounds as though thinking when is she going to give it up? I know, I'll just tell her others are willing if she's not and see how that works.

👎

"It's sounds as though thinking when is she going to give it up? I know, I'll just tell her others are willing if she's not and see how that works."

^This. I agree with PP that it's very early days so no harm in him seeing others (and you should do the same) but he's asking you to do the "pick-me dance". He's inviting you to compete with the other girls.
Screw that.

I was hoping that it was me being silly and that what he says is ok but based on all your feedback I think I should go with my gut on this one and see it as a red flag, thank you for all you’re advice

@SingleJam1990 - sounds like you have good instincts. Our guts are generally right about things.

Dump

Dump. He's just trying to manipulate you into having sex with him by making out you've got competition. Fuck that.