I've been with DH since I started uni. I was bullied at school for being fat but by uni I had a lost a little weight and I am quite pretty and fun loving (in alternative nights 5 nights a weeks singing along to every word). DH really fell for me and made me feel cherished. We have similar tastes in music, film, travel, TV, same values and politics.
DH has always been very emotional and can be very bad tempered. I can stand up for myself and he always apologies. He has joint problems, probably fibromyalgia or similar which have got a lot worse over the last 10 years. He has suffered from depression, we nearly split when he refused to have kids but had a change of heart. We have 2 now aged 12 and 10. He is a brilliant dad but shouts too much. DH has often used his physical issues to not join in socially and I have got used to having my own social life most of the time. It has been handy since the kids as we rarely need a babysitter.
Our eldest has ASD and can get extremely angry and was excluded from school at 10. DH has now realised he has social anxiety but despite me commenting on how like him DD is there seems to be no inkling about his ASD traits. His mother is also 'highly strung', angry and emotional. So was his grandfather who was what we now term abusive to his mum.
I'm not sure I can manage another 3 decades or more managing his emotions on top of supporting our child. After a recent run in with his mum I never want to speak to her again. I don't know what I want really. I keep telling him I can't cope with his stress while trying to manage my own. Is it unreasonable to not want to be managing everyone else's emotions all the time?