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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Insecurity and jealousy ruining my marriage

2 replies

struggy · 04/09/2020 19:11

Only been married a short while and my insecurities and jealousy are already causing massive problems. Even his ex wife dropping the kids off and they have a quick friendly chat seems a problem to me so I know I have a very big problem which I admit .

Could relate counselling help with this ?
Thanks

OP posts:
Aria2015 · 04/09/2020 19:15

If the jealously / insecurity is coming primarily from you and your dh hasn't essentially done anything to make you feel Insecure (eg cheated on you in the past) then I think individual counselling or therapy would be more beneficial. It would give you a chance to try and get to the bottom of why you feel this way and give you tools to cope with your feelings.

AquarianSquirrel · 04/09/2020 20:22

The operative word there is his "ex" wife. They are his ex for a reason and you are his current wife. There will be added difficulty due to the fact they have a child together but they split up for a reason (and likely had many problems in the marriage before doing so). You have to focus on the present and if individual counselling may help you should try that. I cannot stress enough that (provided he hasn't cheated on you etc) this is your issue and you need to deal with it yourself or risk your own marriage.

That being said, you can never trust someone 100%. Being honest with yourself, do you think there is any reason to be suspicious or is the link between them both (their child) causing you to over-think things? In no way is that meant in a patronising way. I completely understand where you are coming from and have been in a similar situation.

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