Coping with a Paranoid Mum

[Namechanged]

My Mum suffers from acute paranoia. It was diagnosed several years by a pyscharist, but, she refuses to accept the diagnosis and does not take any medication or has any therapy. Instead she uses my sister, her friends and I to talk to.

The conversations are very one sided and emotionally draining. She constantly plays the victim and uses classic FOG statements. Sadly she ends up falling out with her friends because she makes outlandish accusations, and her closest friends only communicate by telephone with her.

I've tried so hard to persuade her to get therapy and see the doctor but this makes her fly into a fit of rage.

I'm not sure what to do, especially when she asks me to do things which validates her paranoia. eg keeping some of her things in my house as she believes some friends are trying to steal or contaminate her stuff. Worse still, she has seen a lawyer to get injunction orders and spent thousands on locksmiths.

My sister thinks we should do as she asks as at least she becomes calmer, but I disagree. I think doing these things and saying nothing validates her paranoid thoughts. She won't listen to any reason if I try to counter her thoughts.

OP, first I'm sorry to hear this as it must be very difficult. Has she been diagnosed with paranoid personality disorder or is the paranoia part of another illness?

I would contact Rethink or Mind. Rethink have a good helpline where they can advise on support options and where to go from here: 0300 5000 927 9:30am - 4pm, Monday to Friday

There's some info here from Mind on how to manage someone with paranoia.

That's so tricky OP. In my opinion there's a fine line between support and colluding. And I agree with you that in essence supporting the delusions is not actually helpful long term for your Mum. It sounds like she really needs either therapy or medication so I think maintaining firmer boundaries and repeating that she needs to speak to her GP is the best way forward. All that can be done in a loving but firm way. She sounds like she must be in a living hell right now if the world has become that scary so trying to access some help as soon as possible is the kindest way forward, regardless of what her current thinking is. Not easily done though, good luck.

Thanks for your responses.

She's always had a paranoid personality disorder, but as she has got older this has become worse.

Thank you for the link to Mind username501.