My husband earns good money, but spends constantly, spontaneously and unwisely. I have just started a consultancy contract, my work has been on and off over the last eight years, not through want of trying. I am paid irregularly. We are in debt - credit card of 15, 000 euros, another loan, mortgage and overdraft. I keep trying to persuade him to budget and live within our means, but he will not accept my suggestions. These I feel have been reasonable; spending less on food and avoid spending on Amazon, no splurges. We have a hugely expensive car and a mortgage, but a very good mortgage rate and a nice house. He wants to take a mortgage holiday to temporarily ease our debt, but I think this is just postponing our problems. He is critical of me and the fact that as a consultant I only have one client at the moment (I would take more on if I could get them!). When I explain that I am trying, but can't, he tells me i am being a 'victim'. I feel that after 15 years of marriage, if he can't see that we need to economise, he never will. I do not see the point of expensive cars and things that lose value, but I have enjoyed having a house where we can invite friends and family to stay, and I see it as an asset for when we get older. The thing is, I cannot see myself being able to take the constant harassment over money. It has been like this ever since I met him - he acts like he is entitled to spend how he wants, always. I plan our meals and spend about 100 euros a week on food, then he will go out and spend another 150 more on expensive ingredients and wine. He does not accept budgeting as the answer, but for me to earn more. We have a 12 year old son who is very happy at his school and with his friends. I don't want to destroy his life but I feel this situation is becoming intolerable for me. This powerlessness is making me very unhappy and I don't see him changing - has anyone successfully changed an entitled spendthrift into becoming careful with money?!