Husbands odd behaviour 2

[M0mmzee]

I posted recently about my DH’s odd behaviour concerning a neighbour which has unsettled me to say the least.
However, tonight, relaxing on sofa, I’m lying down, back towards him and I felt - was it a cushion or something sticking in my bottom, no it was his fingers. I didn’t realise and brushed them away as it was uncomfortable. He slaps me really hard on the leg as he said I hurt him?!? It is still painful an hour later and no I didn’t hurt him, I was very gentle. I’m worried.

Is there any chance he's ill? His odd behavior all of a sudden would worry me greatly

@Iloveme30
Appreciate your reply. Thank you.
He may be but he’s done very odd things on and off since we married over a decade ago, not continuously but from time to time says, does inappropriate things - can be v embarrassing. He’s also not willing to see Dr. Thinks I am at fault. It’s come to crunch time for me though - going to have to sort things out one way or the other today because I can’t go on living like this. It’s going to be very difficult telling any friends and family though because he puts on a simply charming act in front of them and they all call him ....dear - - - - -! Think the sun shines from his rear end! V stressful day to day for me.

Well if he is able to “put on an act” for other people then it’s not Illness or old age is it 😡
Classic bad behavior and that level of creeping nobody should have to put up with . How demoralized you must feel .He is not worth living like this for .
Imagine waking in the morning without the worry of him or having to watch your back .The relief would probably outweigh the sadness , and don’t worry about ‘other people “ they are not and never will be in your shoes

I remember your other recent post. I'm quite worried for you. Is there at least 1 friend you could confide in? His behaviour is certainly not normal but it's difficult for an outsider to say if he's really unaware of what he's doing. Could you keep a diary of the odd behaviour, it might come in useful? So sorry you are going through this.

@Iloveme30
Thank you.

Just wrote a long post and lost it. Thirdtimeunlucky's idea of writing down what's happening may help you, because seeing it written down might clarify the wrongness of his behaviour. But so would confiding in a good friend or family member. Let them know he saves his worst behaviour for when he's alone with you. Hitting you like that was appalling. You don't have to put up with it. He's making you feel unhappy and insecure.

@ThirdTimeUnlucky
Yes, I have kept a diary over the years, not of everything but quite a lot.
I am embarrassed to confide in friends as I was previously married to a really nasty man and I’m worried they’ll think, “Oh oh, here we go again.” The person they see is not the person I see as I live with him. He also has very long standing friends whom I know would not believe me and unfortunately I haven’t confided in any of my friends over the years out of embarrassment so it would be sprung on them and no doubt they would wonder why I hadn’t said anything before. I have a feeling it would be difficult to convince them. They think he is a real catch, charming, v good looking etc. I just don’t know what to do.

@pickingdaisies
Thanks for your reply. Appreciating being able to talk about it at last.
You’re right it makes me feel v insecure and unhappy.

I just wanted to say true friends will be there for you and support you. Don’t let the fear of them judging you impact on your decision to stay with him or not.
You are unhappy and that’s all that matters. You need to do what is right for you.
Hopefully your genuine friends will be there to support you if you do decide to end this relationship.
Good luck

Agree with ilovecats. If you were my friend or my daughter, I would want to know, I would want to help. Sadly a lot of these white knights who turn up after a bad relationship turn out to have a sly nasty side to them.
Figure out what's best for you, then figure out how to achieve that. Doesn't matter what his friends think, this is your life.

Thank you so much for your wise words.
@IlovecatsyesIdo
and
@pickingdaisies

I'm so sorry you are going through this,OP. You deserve to live in a peaceful and happy home without physical or emotional abuse from another adult. He may very well have true psych issues or just be a SOB but it's not your job to diagnose and cure him

@EKGEMS
You know, you are so right. I do deserve to live in a peaceful and happy home. Cutting the strings is so difficult because I have no other family left and would be completely on my own which is so scary. 😢

I don't know about anyone else but I've had friends confide in me over the years about their partners behaviour and they always say something like 'oh, my/his parents/mates would never believe me' . I think we all have different persona's that we show to different groups of people, so don't be too quick to dismiss that idea that you won't be believed.
However, feel free to keep posting here. I believe you and so do many others. Hopefully you will gain the mental strength to tackle this, whatever way that may be.

I appreciate your words @ThirdTimeUnlucky

Do you have friends who are yours rather than his? To be honest, I'd finding living by myself a relief after putting up with that sort of crap. Then it's up to you to build up a friendship circle that's there for you, you might be pleasantly surprised.