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Original poster

Did you meet someone eventually?

15 replies

Panicstay · 02/09/2020 20:20

Just that really. Having a mopey night with ice cream and feeling shit about being single 3 years and counting. Late thirties and would love to settle down. I still date but it gets draining. Done all the usual, taken a break from it, dated unusual types I wouldn’t normally go for etc etc. Just hadn’t happened yet.

OP posts:
Advicewouldbeappreciated · 02/09/2020 20:27

Yes
After reaching rock bottom and surviving for years and having accepted love was for others and I was almost separate from society. As I clawed my way through life working and raising my kids someone came into it who makes me very happy, who I am attracted to and who I love very much.
I never believed those who said it will happen eventually-but it has.

WiserOlder · 02/09/2020 20:29

No. Pretty much been sing for 13 years.
Stopped caring years ago.

Original poster
Panicstay · 02/09/2020 20:33

advice that’s lovely to read! I can’t imagine it at all.

wiser I hope I can get to feel ok about it and stop caring. I care less than I used to but definitely do still care

OP posts:
fuandylp · 02/09/2020 20:39

Nah.. I've given up now.
I did meet someone late 30s and thought he was the one but he was just an arsehole like the rest of them. Alcoholic, used prostitutes, lied, sucked the life out of me with his constant moaning about his problems etc.
I'm now 43 and been single for 18 months and I honestly don't think it will happen for me now so I'm just trying to enjoy my life (and not being very successful).

But don't you give up hope. There might be someone come along who is ideal for you.
I'm just bitter now so no one will want me!
You sound nice.

oo0Tinkerbell0oo · 02/09/2020 20:42

I was single for 7 years after leaving my ex, i didn't even date. I wasn't looking for anyone but then someone came into my life and i couldn't be happier. I now know what love really is.

Original poster
Panicstay · 02/09/2020 20:44

You sound nice too!

I feel the same to be honest. Anyone I have been involved with in the last few years has been an utter shit, abusive, self centred, list goes on. I have far less hope than I used to.

OP posts:
Original poster
Panicstay · 02/09/2020 20:45

tinkerbell how did you meet them?

I’ve been on so many dates with weirdos who want to meet again but quite clearly don’t want to settle down.

OP posts:
Wannabegreenfingers · 02/09/2020 23:52

Can I join? I'm newly single 8 months out of my marriage and just feel a bit meh about it all.

Not helped by stbexh confessing to new girlfriend or as I know her the OW. Trying to make out it's a recent thing, but we both know otherwise.

Not really looking for the next husband, but someone to have fun with x

TheFormerPorpentinaScamander · 02/09/2020 23:54

I was single for 7 years after dcs dad left. Then had a 1 year abusive relationship. Then met the love of my life. Fell fast and hard. 2.5 years in he told me he hated my kids and left.
I'm done now. I'm mid 30s and just can't be bothered anymore. It's not worth the heartbreak imo

Pipandmum · 03/09/2020 00:26

Met my husband through an introduction agency (not online - that wasn't popular then). He died after 8 years and I've been on my own since (10 years). I don't mind. I've raised our kids. I'm not lonely. I've got a number of friends and interests and I'm very independent. If romance happens it happens, but I'm not doing anything active about it.

SissyLongStockings · 03/09/2020 05:10

They all lie and cheat anyway so what's the point

BeyondMyWits · 03/09/2020 07:57

Yes. I was single till my mid thirties. Looking back, I honestly think I was too picky and a bit snobby. I was looking for "the one" and not allowing myself the time to build a relationship with Mr good-enough-for-now... when I did, I found he was actually the one for me, and 20 years later we still have a love filled relationship full of fun, based on solid foundations rather than an illusive "spark".

WiserOlder · 03/09/2020 08:12

But nobody has to be in a relationship. I think that unless being alone is making you very unhappy there is no problem with rejecting "candidates"

My dysfunction in my 20s was that i had a severe attachment disorder and being close to anybody stifled me so i would feel what i thought was "going off them" but if was my attachment style making me feel stifled. The only relationships i had were when the men were massively avoidant and ambivalent and they were v painful,, or they were controlling and just managed me.

WiserOlder · 03/09/2020 08:13

And i do wish id understood that at 20. Would have been great to understand that at the start of my adult life.

oo0Tinkerbell0oo · 03/09/2020 08:16

@Panicstay

tinkerbell how did you meet them?

I’ve been on so many dates with weirdos who want to meet again but quite clearly don’t want to settle down.

We spent some nights out with mutual friends, got chatting away from friends and got to know a bit about each other and it just went from there.
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