Unreasonable expectations?

[SerialStitcher]

I'm not sure if I have unreasonable expectations or not.
I started a new job today (albeit still working from home), and had to start a bit earlier than DH (I started at 8.30am, he was starting work at 10am). No children yet, so wouldn't usually begrudge him a lie in, but I asked if he would make some coffee. Long story short, he didn't, he stayed in bed until he was due to start work.
I feel a bit sad and disappointed. If it was the other way around I'd have done it for him.
It's a silly little thing really, but it feels like another in a growing line of small but selfish acts. He didn't do anything to mark me leaving my previous job (nothing fancy, I just thought we'd watch a film together or he'd make dinner or something) - he knew I was sad about leaving. He didn't put the bins out (which happens frequently) - he says he forgot, but I had reminded him - so it feels like "I forgot" actually means "I didn't want to, so I didn't".
He says he loves me but I don't feel loved.

I suspect that as is often the case the OP is trying to articulate a sense that her partner is changing in his manner to her and seems indifferent - it’s always difficult to give examples when one is trying to describe a change in attitude.

Picking on whether or not you would personally expect your partner to make coffee is spectacularly missing the point. Just because that’s how your relationship works means nothing in the context of an op trying to explain a growing sense of her partners disinterest

I’ve been married 31 years and my DH always makes me coffee in the morning. If he suddenly stopped it wouldn’t be entitlement that made me feel a bit sad but the change, the pulling away

Have you done the love languages quiz? Yours is probably acts of service and your partners will be different. I found it useful to do this with my BF as it helped me see that our ways of expressing and understanding expressions of love are different.

Sorry I really wasn't very clear in my OP! I meant, could he make some coffee between when he got up after his lie in and started work (so around 9.45am). I was in meetings from 8.30am-12.30pm without any breaks so asked if he could bring me a cup when he made his. I can see how I caused confusion with that!
The film thing was probably a bit unreasonable - I thought, as I'd gone in to the office for the first time since March to clear my desk etc, we'd spend the evening together, but probably should have articulated it.
I think it is an accumulation of small things recently; I feel like I end up doing things myself (things that are his agreed jobs - like hoovering or the bins), or nagging, which I hate. Also moaning when I've asked him, for example, to bring down his dirty laundry (as it wasn't in the basket) - I don't really want to be doing the laundry either but it's got to be done!
We've had a chat this evening about showing love through actions as well as saying it, and I will look into the love languages a bit more.

He couldn't make you a cup of coffee on your first day of a new job? What a sad selfish lazy little dick. Whats the point of having a partner if they are too lazy and self centred to participate in your big life changes in the simplest of ways.

Ah yes that was very selfish of him to not make you a coffee. Hope your chat makes a difference

You're doing him a huge favour by doing his laundry. I suggest you don't, any more, especially if he's grudging and difficult about even putting his dirties in a laundry basket!

My partner has meetings most of the day where as I have less. I often take him coffee on a morning or afternoon. He has his first meeting at 8.30 am and often finishes work at 7 so I think making a cuppa if you can't get away from your desk is totally normal. I'll often bring him back a treat or something.l for while he is working.

Personally I would also get up with my partner if they were starting a new job just to be around. But we are very close and supportive even after 16 years.

Hi OP. I hope the new job is going well and so sorry to hear about the miscarriage. Do you think you have been feeling like this since then? or have things always been like this? I wondered whether grief had made your boyfriend's ADD worse - is he struggling even more to organise and remember things? Is that what is causing these issues rather than a lack of care?

Christ. You started work at 8:30 in your home- hardly at the crack of dawn. Make it yourself! And I'm sure you are allowed to get up and go to the toilet and get a coffee even when you're having meetings.