He mocked my PND

[Overitallllll]

recently had a baby and have really struggled mentally. I love my baby I've just struggled with the adjustment, I was diagnosed with PND, I've struggled with depression previously so I was given anti depressants.

My boyfriend at the time was seeing another woman from his work. He denied it, I saw the texting and I had to end it because I couldn't deal with it at that time. Throughout these months he's been "trying" with me. I contacted the woman, she denied it said they were just friends. He was so so angry that I had contacted her. I recently saw her upload a picture of them on social media at her birthday together. These last few months he's completely denied it.

I just feel railroaded
He told me I'm a rubbish mum, he can see why no one wants me, he said I need to take my little pills and get help. He said I always play the victim, all I do is sit and cryand he doesn't care. He said I'm toxic and I ruined it by contacting her. He said some really nasty things I just can't get my head around. I've been doing this basically by myself as he works away. I have very little support and I've really been trying. I'm just so so hurt. I keep questioning where I've gone wrong, I know I've played my part in this but all I did was try. I told him it was emotional abuse and he said no one is abused. I just feel like I don't know what way is up or down right now. I feel like I've pushed him to be like this.

I'm sorry if it's long I'm just ranting

Hi Op, this all sounds very difficult. I think you should end this relationship and focus on yourself and your baby. He is not being supportive to you or your child.

He has said some very unpleasant , extremely hurtful and unhelpful things to you. This shows ignorance on his part. You have done absolutely the right thing in having your PND addressed and medication. I hope you and baby are settling into a nice routine now.

This guy is not providing any emotional support for you at all, in fact he is adding to your plate by his behaviour and actions. A decent man would not behave in this way. He is not a decent man. You need to focus on yourself and your lovely new child, that is your future. I personally would not invest anymore of my time in this man.

Do you have any friends or family who can support you through this?

Bump

He sounds awful! At a vulnerable time when you have a new baby, he has been seeing someone else and getting furious when you try to ascertain that it is over? Am I right? I think he IS emotionally abusive and has treated you appallingly. You have been doing this alone anyway. Surely you would have better peace of mind and less resentment or feelings of being let down if you end your relationship with him for good? Is he the father of the baby? What he has said to you is simply not true. I think your PND will lessen somewhat without him around!

Sounds like a messy break up. I think you need to keep things on a practical level regarding the child and anything ese leave aside, you have your time with baby he has his.

I keep questioning where I've gone wrong
The only place where you've gone wrong is not chucking him out months ago. He was cheating on you then and his reaction now certainly suggests he still is. You have PND and a new baby. You do not need him around sapping your energy and taking up headspace.

So what if he said no-one is abused? He doesn't get to decide that. You know this is emotional abuse, get him gone.

He honestly sounds awful. Get rid. Concentrate on the only two people that matter - you and your baby.

When I had PND I was told that it was harder for him! With me I felt and looked so much better when the constant belittling and lack of care was gone and I could focus on DS. Please consider going alone

"Sounds like a messy breakup" No it sounds like a nasty,lying,cheating son of a bitch she's married to! He's an asshole and she deserves to live in peace with her child not be mocked for her PND!

I know I should just leave him alone. I know all of this deep down but he's made me feel like I've done this. I keep thinking over and over why I acted so crazy. He said it's no wonder he talks to other women. They both denied it and said they are just friends but I just know!

What an arsehole he is!

One thing you need to get clear in your mind is that none of this is your fault and you are an amazing mother.

You said he works away, you’ve been raising your baby by yourself and as a single mum myself I know how hard it is! You should be so proud of yourself. My advice would be to get yourself into a routine or as close as to a routine as you can, it really does make things that little bit easier (it did for me)

Him cheating was not your fault, he is only saying these vile things to hurt you and deflect away from what he has done so don’t listen to him! He is the one who needs help, to throw away a relationship with some floozie from work when the mother of child is at home and needs some support. Do you have family and friends you can contact? It’s a bit random but when was the last time you got out of the house? I found being in the house for days (more like weeks) on end did me no favours mentally. See if you can go for a walk with a friend or family member or pop round for tea (if lockdown restriction permit this in your area)

This is a hard time you are going through and don’t be hard on yourself. Becoming a mother is hard work and it turns out world upside down at times because it’s all new. If you ever need to chat or anything you’re most welcome to PM me, I know how you’re feeling but hang in there, kick this loser to the kerb coz he is weighing you down and with everything you’ve got going on you don’t need him chirping in your ear adding to the stress.

Try not to think too much about them and the lies they’ve told. The damage has been done now. It’s easy for me to say but try and distance yourself from him, go as low contact as possible or could
You have a family members arrange contact your for child with him? I know how easy it is to sit there and stew about it and get sucked back into arguing but he is the type of man who doesn’t know where the line is and will say ANYTHING to get the upper hand. You’re worth so much more than this!

Honestly I don't know how to tag people but that last message really made me feel not so alone. So I want to thank you so much for that. I'm just a complete stranger and you were so lovely. Thank you again

op, forgive me, i read up to the woman at work.

He is disgraceful, absolutely disgraceful. Please put yourself first and continue getting treatment for your PND.

He needs to go. Once you start feeling better you will see him differently.

I'm just ranting

Unless you want to spent your life being cheated on and gaslit there really isn't any other way to go but to end it.

You're already a single parent now, so all it would mean is single parenting without the abuse.

Stop ranting and start planning a happy life for you and your child away from this insufferable wanker.