We've only been together for 18 months, we live together and I'm 8 months pregnant.
He is loving, caring, supportive and would do anything for me and when we first met i really thought i had met someone different who i could trust. He broke my trust on two occasions early on in the relationship, once involving meeting up with an ex and another involving taking another women's number on a night out and calling her on his way home to me and the next day, because I found out I will never know how far this would have gone. I let things slide the first time as we had only just started dating although I felt he wasn't what he betrayed himself to be but the second occasion I ended the relationship as I knew I would never trust him again and wanted more from a relationship and for me once trust is gone i can't trust that person again. I then found out i was pregnant! I wanted to keep the baby regardless but he begged and pleaded for another chance said he had made the biggest mistake of his life etc etc etc so i decided to give the relationship another try and he moved in not long after.
Everything on the surface is going well, I've had a difficult pregnancy and he's been beyond supportive taken over all the household chores, paying most of the bills, (as I had to take a step back from work and I'm self employed) always makes me feel loved and cared for and is excited for the baby to arrive. The problem is whenever he goes out, which isn't often, maybe once a month if that I have this intense feeling of mistrust and its leaving me feeling insecure and stupid for ever forgiving him! I feel given the opportunity he would do wrong again and he never really did anything to gain back my trust and now its just swept under the carpet. I've never met any of his friends he goes out with on nights out and although I've met his family I've never actually met any of his close friends he works with which I find very strange! I not a big drinker so I always put it down to that but now i'm not so sure. He also will never suggest that we go out in the area he goes to on nights out when meeting friends. Our relationship isn't a secret, all of his friends know hes in a relationship and our pictures are all over his social media. When I've brought this up to him he always says "you're welcome to meet them anytime" but how is that possible when i never invited to meet them so I feel hes trying to hide something from me.
He was out last weekend and a picture of his ex (who he met up with when we was first dating) with a girl i used to work with popped up on my social media (I didn't even know they were friends) and they were out in the same area he was out in and it really triggered me. It caused a huge argument when he got home and I was just left feeling like a crazy, insecure pregnant woman which isn't me at all. Something still doesn't fit right when hes out and the fact I've never been invited or met these friends and I cant stand feeling like this every time he's out and it will eventually end if I cant trust him because I refuse to put myself through this for years and destroy my self esteem.
I feel stupid for taking him back but I only did because I was pregnant and I wanted to try and make things work but if it wasn't for the baby I wouldn't have forgiven him.
Can i ever trust him again? Or should I?