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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Struggling with letting go of the past

0 replies

Bryyy · 02/09/2020 08:15

I don't know of that's the right title for my thread but bear with me as it's a bit long.

I've always idealised my relationship/partner . He's everything I've always ever wanted and felt like all of my "bad times" from the past were worth the wait for him. I always felt our love was strong and what books/songs were written about.

A few months ago (I can't even remey when) he sexted someone. I found it by chance and swears it was a one off. I more or less believe that but he does have a history (not with me) of sexting/camming (isolated events that had a common denominator having a youngish baby).

I can live with that as I don't think it's such a big deal but I would have thought that because our love was so strong he would have stopped from doing it. Ultimately he's flawed and I can accept that. Nobody is perfect. Our relationship even now is pretty good. I still feel love and wanted and that has never changed. We rarely fight (about once a year) but I feel like the relationship that we had is over. Whatever comes next has to be different and not what my 15/22 year old aspired to have. As childish as it sounds that's what's hurting me the most. I can't even listen to my favourite songs because it reminds me that what I thought I had wasn't true. I definitely feel triggered by them and they were a big part of me.
I don't even know what I'm asking for here but I'm mourning the loss of our relationship as I knew it and it's making me feel very, very low.

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