I don't know of that's the right title for my thread but bear with me as it's a bit long.
I've always idealised my relationship/partner . He's everything I've always ever wanted and felt like all of my "bad times" from the past were worth the wait for him. I always felt our love was strong and what books/songs were written about.
A few months ago (I can't even remey when) he sexted someone. I found it by chance and swears it was a one off. I more or less believe that but he does have a history (not with me) of sexting/camming (isolated events that had a common denominator having a youngish baby).
I can live with that as I don't think it's such a big deal but I would have thought that because our love was so strong he would have stopped from doing it. Ultimately he's flawed and I can accept that. Nobody is perfect. Our relationship even now is pretty good. I still feel love and wanted and that has never changed. We rarely fight (about once a year) but I feel like the relationship that we had is over. Whatever comes next has to be different and not what my 15/22 year old aspired to have. As childish as it sounds that's what's hurting me the most. I can't even listen to my favourite songs because it reminds me that what I thought I had wasn't true. I definitely feel triggered by them and they were a big part of me.
I don't even know what I'm asking for here but I'm mourning the loss of our relationship as I knew it and it's making me feel very, very low.