Better off on my own????

[MaryST7]

So - I've been with my partner for 27 years. Since I was 18. Had our first child at 20. This means I have never lived alone, never made independent decisions etc. I dream about living on my own, not because I don't love my family (two grown up children, one aged 11) but because I would love that experience. Choosing my own decor, eating what I like etc. Is this a mid-life crisis?? Or something I NEED to do, for me? I am fond of my partner, we have shared all these years, but I don't love him - however, I love my family and it's a big deal to break all that up. So confused but have felt like this for years....I can't possibly be the only one??? When you put these things in perspective - women around the world living in horrific conditions and enduring so much suffering - I just think I should get over myself! But deep down, I feel the need to explore being myself. But at what cost?? Going around in circles.....

If you don’t want to be with your partner, then you should leave him. I’m not really understanding the issues you’ve listed though. Why can’t you eat what you like and choose decor? A lot of people in life have never lived alone. I’ve gone from parents to shared flats/houses in between living with my ex and my now partner, it’s not unusual to have never lived alone

I went from my parents to living with my ex and when we split up almost 2 years ago I moved into a house on my own with my two DC. I absolutely love living on my own so I can understand how you feel you would want to experience this too at some point. It doesn't sound like you love your partner so tbh I'd leave for that, not because you want to experience living alone.

If you don't love your partner then that's the reason to end the relationship, not any of the other stuff.

In explanation, my partner is a little bit domineering, so I don't always get a say in decorating, what we have for dinner etc. Which I know sounds ridiculous! Splitting up a family is just such a big deal. As I'm not generally unhappy all the time I feel as though it would be an utterly selfish thing to do. I think he would be really hurt and I hate upsetting people. Even typing this I can sense that people will just think I'm a wet blanket - probably true! Thanks for the advice though. I feel very lonely but have this strange feeling that I would feel less lonely apart....which makes me think I'm going mad!!