My friend of 30 years has always been a bit pushy as far as I'm concerned, but I've never told her I see her this way. Mostly I go along with her demands, because I strongly dislike conflict, I'm generous, and know she would react badly if I gave her a direct 'no' to anything she wanted. I tend to steer her gently if I don't like the direction she's going in.
She came to stay for a few days recently, and I noted the lack of offerings when she arrived - I'd have liked a bottle of wine or a bunch of flowers or some tasty snacks, but she brought nothing but half a bottle of gin, which she drank most of herself. She then went round my garden and eyed up all the plants she wanted and the fruit she wanted to pick off my trees. She did not ask my permission for the fruit nor did she say how much fruit she wanted. I tried to steer her as usual by saying the fruit was unripe and that the same could be found in the nearby hedges, but she went on and started helping herself anyway, leaving me little choice but to confront her about it. She took umbrage, told me there was loads of fruit to go round, and that I was being mean, and stomped off to her car. When I tried to explain to her that I would like to be treated with more respect on my own property she said she didn't want to talk about my 'strange attitude', just wanted to leave. She was even crying.
AIBU to feel resentful about friends who come to stay, who bring nothing, do not help with the cooking or the washing up, and resent me for not wanting to share my things sometimes ( 95% of the time I do share, I am generous and easy going) - and who get huffy if I speak plainly to them (no swearing, just straightforward ) ? Why do people often react this way when confronted? What are friendships for?