should i just call it a day? ( sorry long)

[waitformuchlonger]

hi all

sorry just need to offload this.

dh and i had problems last year. I moved back to the uk, he went to afgan for 9 months ( forces )

By nov he was asking for another chance. I said i didnt know but would think about it. I saw him for 10 days in jan and we got on well. He came home for 7 weeks from march to mid may. We got on really well and thought we could make a go of things. He was meant to be moving back to the uk by august, but for various complicated reasons, all out of his control he was unable to. He came home for 4 weeks in aug. Again we were getting on great.
He was told he would be back in the uk by end of sept. Needless to say he is not back here, and it seems will not be back until late dec at the earliest. And there is a high possibility that will only be for a few weeks and he will be in germany until june 08.

I am pretty fed up. i work 30hrs a week, have a 20month old daugher, dog and house to run all on my own. It is hard. I also dont see how we can move forward with our marriage when he is not even in the same country. I do love him, he loves me and we want to be with each other, but i just dont know how long i can keep waiting for.

has anyone got any words of wisdom?

i dont really have any experience on this but i wanted to bump for u hun.hope someone comes along who knows what they're talking about x

It must be horrible to be separated from him for so long, to have no idea when he's coming back, and presumably worry about him in between. Time apart is sometimes a good thing for relationships in difficulties and it does seem to have improved yours - but now, as you say, you want to move forward and can't! Note to women who want a full time partner: don't fall in love with a soldier...

However, it's only been a few short months in the scheme of things, he will be home eventually, he is (presumably) the father of your daughter and imo you owe it to her at least, if not to him or yourself, to keep the home fires burning etc and give him a proper chance to be a husband and father. Of course you're impatient, who wouldn't be? The more you care the harder it is. I'd worry about your future together if you were perfectly content to be without him for months on end.

If you end it now then you won't get him back at all, is that really better?

If he is going to Germany next year is that a posting where you can go with him and live in quarters? I know it's shite sometimes being married to a soldier - I am marries to one. But if you are getting on great when you have been to able to be together this year it seems a shame to give up on it in the short term when it could be good in the long term?