Affair during lockdown

[PinkButterflyx]

I started a post not long ago about my partner exchanging sexual texts with someone weeks after I'd given birth and arranging to meet them. I said they had both been denying ever meeting even though at first she said they did. I'd tried to forgive but was struggling. She has now told me they've been sleeping together this whole time and she's pregnant. Don't know why I'm typing this out, feeling crap that I didn't know what was going on right in front me.

Well - it may be true, or she may be doing it to hurt you.
If she is indeed pregnant - then your DP will have to juggle two small babies.
What is it about him that make the two of you fight over keeping him? He is clearly not a relationship material.

Oh no Op I’m so sorry
Can you tell us more? How did they meet? You find out? How did she contact you etc. Bless you, having a young child too. What a shitbag he is.

So sorry to hear this OP. If true, what a piece of shit he is x

@PinkButterflyx

I started a post not long ago about my partner exchanging sexual texts with someone weeks after I'd given birth and arranging to meet them. I said they had both been denying ever meeting even though at first she said they did. I'd tried to forgive but was struggling. She has now told me they've been sleeping together this whole time and she's pregnant. Don't know why I'm typing this out, feeling crap that I didn't know what was going on right in front me.

How would you know when you had just given birth and had a new baby? How awfully cruel and unkind of both of them to punish you like this

They are both complete bastards.

Are you going to speak to your partner about this pregnancy of the OW?

The trust would be gone for me ... he'd no longer be a partner and the focus would be trying to coparent.

He cheated on you with a new born baby.
I'd be asking her what makes her confident he won't do the same on her.
You don't need him OP.

I would be thanking her for the info and then kick him out. And then promptly file for child maintenance.

Being single (not forever, if you want to meet someone who isn't a twat, but equally if you don't want to meet someone) and coparenting is SO much better than being in a shit relationship with a cheat and a liar who minimises his own bad behaviour. It's better for you and your kids. You can now model healthy behaviour to them.

I wanted to believe nothing had gone other than plans to meet which never happened. I wanted to make things work as this was my fourth child and felt like I needed the support. @Lifeislikeaboxofchocolat They met through a mutual friend, I checked his phone three weeks after I gave birth as I'd been snappy with him as was tired and in pain and was convinced he'd been bitching about me to his friend. He had been bitching about me to her and then the texts became sexual and they had planned to meet. I confronted him and he said he never met her, two weeks after this I find a sexual text from her, I've rang her up she's admitted an affair. I've kicked him out then she denies any knowledge of saying that to me. I wanted to make things work then she randomly messages me saying she's pregnant and sends me texts of him being outside her house waiting to be let in etc when he said he didn't know her exact address.

Very odd OP. If he was not at home while she’s texting you that he’s outside her house, gives some credence to her claims.

Has he been home since the OW messaged you that she’s pregnant? Have you shown your DP her texts? What does he say?

If you saw devils texts from him to her it’s not likely a bunny boiler but some arrogant selfish woman looking to make you miserable that you’ll kick him out so she can have him

He’s no great prize. These days you can get help and assistance Plus child maintenance. You don’t need him. You don’t need head games. Focus on you and your children.

I went through betrayal like this thankfully in my early 20s. The girl my DP was cheating on me with knew all about me and our baby. Followed us when we moved 4 hours away. This was before mobile phones so I actually confronted her in person.

It hurt like someone physically punched me in the stomach. Drove me almost insane with the physical pain of betrayal, being lied to. Thankfully because texts didn’t exist yet I didn’t ever see or know for sure their discussions about me or meeting up so I can only imagine how that is for you

I got the courage to kick him out. He tried to suggest we all live together or he could go sleep at her place when baby was crying at night. I got the courage to Stay away from him and went to court to get support order. I did eventually move on. Got over it and then met a lovely man. Been married 30 years and had more children plus he took on my first

That OW? She got pregnant and my Ex did the same to her. And the one after that and the one after that. Lost interest after that so I don’t know how many women he’s screwed over (or how many kids he’s sired). I did do one thing that helped me feel a little better. When he cheated on OW and Jeff her after their baby was born, I sent her a congratulations card which read “Congratulations! You got everything you deserve”. I know it’s petty but 34 years later and I’m still happy I did that.

What woman knowingly does that to another? They’re welcome to the cheating bastard . Kick him out. Focus on you and your dc. You will survive and it will get better.

I am so sorry, OP. I recall your other thread.

Your P and the OW are nasty pieces of work. He accused you of not giving him enough attention, even though you had a newborn, were homeschooling the other 3, and were in pain and exhausted. He threatened that if you didn’t get over it, he’d leave and take what he’d bought, and would use some sad texts to prove you are unfit.

He is absolutely the lowest of the low....a sneaky lying cheat who cruelly blames his vulnerable partner for his unethical choices.

You put him out before, and I hope you’ve again shown him the door. You and your children deserve so much better than this loser who has devalued all of you.

That sounds so dreadful, I'm sorry that you had to go through all that and what cheek to say he'd be with her when the baby cried at night.
Glad you have found happiness now and the sending of the card sounds satisfying - @AdoreTheBeach - won't let me tag you at the start of my comment, not sure why. @SandyY2K I've sent him all the messages and he is denying it as this worked last time for him. This time I have proof which she wouldn't show me before so was easier for me to think nothing had happened.

@MsDogLady yes that was my thread, blaming me for it all to lessen the guilt he was feeling I suppose.

Pink, I’m not sure someone so selfish and mean-spirited can feel guilt. When you needed him the most, he betrayed you and the children in the worst way. How cliche that in the face of evidence he is still denying.

Do you have any support to help you get through this?

@MsDogLady he keeps denying it and not answering anything specific that I've asked so I'm now giving up as it's frustrating that he can't answer any of the questions. I have a few people to support me. Hopefully in time I will no longer feel so hurt.

He is stonewalling to make you back off.

Is he still living at home?

No he never moved back in from last time when she first told me.

Poor you. Your life will become better without this twat in it. Some day's will be hard but not as hard as being alone at home wondering where your DH is and if he's shagging someone else.

One day you'll look back and be thankful that he did what he did, because you'll be in a better place. You'll find strength you never knew you had. It'll make you a strong, independent, kick ass woman and then you will meet someone so amazing that you will wonder what was going on in your head to be with your DH.