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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Struggling today

7 replies

SissyLongStockings · 31/08/2020 17:58

Hi everyone,
So today ive missed him alot. It's been four months. Today has been one of those hard days where he comes to the front of your mind constantly. Just want to be close to him, smell him, feel him, cuddle him.Sad Not sure what I'm after writing on here just needed to talk to someone. I miss him so much. Emotionally exhausted by it.

OP posts:
Bathbrush · 31/08/2020 18:21

These days will come but they will also go again. The more time that passes the less often you’ll have days like this. I know it’s shit, but you’ve just got to keep on going until you get through it, and you WILL get through it. Try and be kind to yourself and know that you’ll be fine in the end.

Fairycake2 · 31/08/2020 18:36

I've been having some counselling after the breakdown of my marriage and one of the things I've talked about is days like this and the constant thinking about DH. She told me to try saying 'stop' out loud when I think about him then to make my mind think of something else. I've only just started so not sure if it works but it definitely helps to focus on something else. I also found writing a list of all the shit bits about him and reading it on days like this helped too. For you 💐

Original poster
SissyLongStockings · 31/08/2020 19:14

@Fairycake2 @Bathbrush Thank you. My brain is just overwhelmed by him.

OP posts:
StormBaby · 31/08/2020 19:18

The ‘shot list’ thing really works. I always advise it after a breakup. I wrote out all the annoying, gross and terrible things about my ex as a list on my phone. I also write down all the times my instincts had been right about him and I’d ignored them. Every time I felt sad I’d read it. It ended up being a period of huge growth for me!

Bathbrush · 31/08/2020 19:20

Bank holidays are always harder, you have more time on your hands to think. Hopefully you’ll feel a little better tomorrow. I was up and down for a good 18 months after my ex left. It’s still quite early so you’re still going to be having tough days. Have you got any rl support?

IncandescentSilver · 31/08/2020 19:47

Same. It's all very well trying to think you shouldn't miss him because he is x, y, z when obviously you were with the guy in the first place because you really liked him.

Feeling extra sad because I changed my profile pic on whatsapp, which I hardly ever use, on friday and he must have been watching because he blocked me that day.

Still no pics or anything on sm of the woman he told me he dumped me for. Its ebtireky possible he has been through both of us in 2 1/2 months, although could also be he has told her to stay on the duwn low as he met her through his work.

It's the not knowing that's worse. If I could see them together, I could just move on.

Original poster
SissyLongStockings · 31/08/2020 19:56

I have a few friends I can speak to on the phone but no one nearby. And I don't like to keep talking about it because it must drive them up the wall.
Whenever I change my WhatsApp status ( the 24 hr) change he looks at it every time.
I wish he would just leave my head I will try some techniques as suggested.
I talk to him like he's right next to me. I miss him so much.

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