Advice needed for friend leaving DH

[letsgoandtango]

A close friend is talking about leaving her DH and I'm relieved... too many details to go into but in summary he has been abusive (she has had a restraining order on him before), an addict (porn, alcohol, weed, maybe others), coercive (tried to force her into an open marriage), controlling (she has caught him looking into her bank accounts) etc etc.

He has his own MH issues but that's hardly the point, she now understands she can't fix him and needs to get away for her own sake and that of their two primary school age DC. She also loves him deeply and that is obviously making it harder for her to leave him, not to mention she is understandably worried about how he will react.

She is not in the UK. I have of course offered her a place to stay but as she is in another country it's not that simple. What advice and support can I give her, wise mn-ers? I have already advised ducks in a row and grey rock, but it would be great to give more specifics.

If it matters, I'm a regular but NCed as I don't want this linked to my other posts.

The Women's Aid website has a page on how to support someone you're worried about.

Thanks - I've had a quick look and it gives some useful tips on the emotional support side, I'm hoping for practical next steps too though.

Also I'm worried about her DH picking up her messages from me and him punishing her. Is there a good way I can get in touch with her without him finding out?

"Also I'm worried about her DH picking up her messages from me and him punishing her. Is there a good way I can get in touch with her without him finding out?"

The safest way would be for her to have a second mobile phone which her DH doesn't know anything about and which is not in any way synced with the other devices in the household (including not even logging into the house wifi from it). She would need to keep it well hidden. Perhaps even keep it at a local friend's house. Or perhaps she has a local friend who can act as a conduit for communication. Does she have local support also? Sounds like she will need it.

Is she coming back to the UK? Either way, she'll need their passports, copies of financial paperwork and to have found a place to stay. I would suggest she doesn't tell him she is going if she is that worried about his reaction. Assuming he goes to work she should pack up and leave while he's there and inform him once she's gone.

Does she have someone who can help with contact for the DC, perhaps to handover? Assuming they will see him of course and that he's not a risk to them

She does have local support but no family and I'm not sure how close or reliable these friends are. She is not atm planning to return to UK, and I'm not sure how she will actually get away (he is wfh). Women's aid looks really useful actually, I might try and find if they have a version in her country.
Second mobile is good idea