DP recent very bad breath- what do I do

[Stargirl89]

Someone else recently posted a topic on this and it got me thinking also.

This sounds really gross so I am so sorry. For the past couple of days I have only just recently smelt bad breath on my DP which I know is clearly gum disease or an abyss. I know the sort of smell as my Farther suffered with it as he smoked for years too. DP smoked for 20 years before he met me. No wonder right?

We have been together for 2 years now (looking at places to live together at the moment as currently living apart) and this has really knocked me. I love him so much so as you can imagine this is driving me insane. Proper deal breaker. He tried kissing me the other day and I couldn't do it. I kept turning my head.

Now can he not smell it?

I can deal with a bit of bad teeth but when it comes to breath I just can't, especially if it's gum disease !!

I use a mouth wash myself which prevents the gum disease from forming I think it is a colgate one. Thinking of giving it to him next time I see him just for a hint.

I can't tell him it would really upset him.

What on earth do I do other people will catch onto it also which would be so embarrassing.

It will affect our relationship as I won't want to kiss him....

Sorry if I sound selfish and a nasty person here but I cannot continue

[BeeyatchPlease]

@Stargirl89 the hydrogen peroxide can kill off some infections too. I often use it on cuts/grazes for DS for the same reason

My exP used to have chronic breath at times and on my friends suggestion, this really sorted it out and it didn't return.

[Stargirl89]

@BeeyatchPlease wow thank you very much. I will try this for him. Is there a specific brand that is good ?

[BeeyatchPlease]

@Stargirl89 here's a link to the brand I use.

www.amazon.co.uk/Care-Hydrogen-Peroxide-Solution-bottles/dp/B01HK5JCHE?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

It not available on Amazon just now but I get mine from Boots or the local pharmacy.
Hope it helps! 😊

[Horsemad]

Sometimes bad breath can be down to stomach/digestive problems. Very often people's breath can really stink if they need a poo. Sorry, not nice, I know! 🤨

[Stargirl89]

@BeeyatchPlease yes it does thank you so much!

[picklemewalnuts]

@BeeyatchPlease that one has a review saying it's not safe!

[PerfectionistProcrastinator]

Are you absolutely sure that he hasn’t started smoking again? I only say that because I’ve encountered smokers who have really bad breath that doesn’t smell exactly like they’ve been smoking.

You don’t have to tell him in a horrible way. Occasionally dp’s breath smells if he’s had too much coffee and he’s a bit dehydrated. I usually notice if we’re in close proximity talking and I’ll say “oh, your breath smells a little bit”. I usually get a load of follow up questions (he brushes his teeth twice daily without fail) such as...does my breath usually smell? Is it really bad? Etc.

[Stargirl89]

@PerfectionistProcrastinator he also brushes his teeth twice a day. Has a coffee breath and dehydration breath sometimes which I can tell the difference to this. I am wondering if it is gum disease just come on or a tooth abysses.

Surely if it's a tooth abysses he would get some sort of pain 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

I am going to mention to him next week when I see him that I am 'trying to get a dentist appointment' is your 'dentist open yet'?

In the 2 years we have been together we haven't actually discussed dentists ... I don't even know if he visits.

I will see the reaction I get

[Stargirl89]

@picklemewalnuts I didn't read the reviews, willing to try anything! But thank you for noticing.

[glowinthebark]

OP I'm afraid I have no advice but can offer sympathy. My exH had rancid breath (due to laziness and poor hygiene habits). It really affected our relationship.

It really is awful, I hope for you and him it gets sorted soon.

[tornadoalley]

Tell him. It will only get worse and you will end up finishing the relationship because of the atmosphere. Either way it will end it it continues.

[tornadoalley]

Sorry I didn't mean it will end if you tell him, as it should improve the situation, but of course he might be very offended and end it but most people are sensible.

I think tonsil stone too. They are gross

[RhubarbGnT]

I had to tell someone very close to me (family member) that they had bad breath and I was worrying about how to go about it for weeks, but in the end I just had to come out and say it. Obviously in a nice way, but I mean...it's always going to sting a bit, however you say it. It was getting really quite bad (like burning sausages ) and they were actually really grateful. Not sure what they did, but it soon stopped.

You'll have to say something OP. It's one thing when it's a friend you see occasionally, but when it's someone you're supposed to be intimate with, it's a very different story.

[Stargirl89]

Thanks @RhubarbGnT I will need to say something. Going to see if it is there next time I see him. If it is I will need to, it's putting me off kissing him. He would most certainly pick up on it....

Well done for coming out with it to your family member.

[Stargirl89]

@glowinthebark thank you. Did you get it sorted with your DH?

[Stargirl89]

Sorry @glowinthebark exh

[Stargirl89]

Thanks @tornadoalley unfortunately it will be a deal breaker for me. Never smelt it before on him....

[NiceGerbil]

Just tell him.

My DH has a recurrent infection and he needs a tooth out. His breath can ming.

Telling him is better than just obviously being reluctant to kiss him.

[Londonborncatty]

Don’t just ask him if his dentist is open, be honest with him. You can say that his breath doesn’t smell like it normally does and ask if he has any tooth ache or a sore throat. Say, it smells like he has an infection. Keep it medical and not personal.
He won’t understand what you’re hinting at if you just ask about dentists etc.

[Stargirl89]

Thanks to all the most recent comments. I will be honest.... I just feel so bad as I would be embrassed I don't want to hurt his feelings. He's sensitive at best of times !!

I think he just has to be told, I can't not kiss him I also don't want others to notice.

[NiceGerbil]

He will notice you subtly flinching.

Way better to tell him nicely. Frame it that you are worried he might have an infection.

[lalala58]

I have bad breath and I've tried everything in the book to get rid of it. I'm quite sure it's either a dry atmosphere (as it gets a lot worse when I'm in work with the air con) or a bad tooth that I had a root canal on last year and I'm quite sure has failed. I mentioned to my dentist last time I was there about having bad breath and she wrote it off and said there could be many causes for bad breath...and that was it. So there is a chance he may already know, especially if he has people around him touching their noses constantly like i do around me. I've resorted to continuously popping mints now to try and cover it up it's affected me so badly to the point of not wanting to talk to people because I know they'll smell it.

[glowinthebark]

[quote Stargirl89]@glowinthebark thank you. Did you get it sorted with your DH? [/quote]
Yep, I LTB

(for so many reasons, not just his vile breath)