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Original poster

He has bad teeth...

34 replies

Hutchy987 · 30/08/2020 18:25

Hi all,

I’ve recently started dating a guy, he’s handsome, great personality, confident, funny, very chivalrous. There’s just one thing... He has a couple of small dark cavities on his front teeth.
It’s not enough to end dating him but I don’t want to find it too off putting. How would you politely and gently suggest he see a dentist to get them fixed? I don’t want them getting any worse and becoming unsightly, painful, or leading to tooth loss.

Thanks in advance x

OP posts:
Louise000000 · 30/08/2020 18:58

I cant think of any kind way to suggest him seeing a dentist! I think it would hurt his feelings as he is probably aware if it's his front teeth.
Can you start a conversation saying you went to the dentist for a teeth cleaning or something and maybe spur him on to say that he has plans for the same?
Bad teeth are my deal breaker unfortunately.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 30/08/2020 19:00

Bad teeth are my deal breaker too. There is no polite way of telling him to see a dentist. It's a bit like when someone has BO. Telling them will always be hurtful.

Original poster
Hutchy987 · 30/08/2020 20:57

Thank you, I guess I’ll just have to buy the bullet and say something. Are dentists actually back open now I wonder? Or still emergency only?
I don’t know how to say it without sounding like an absolute twat or making him more self conscious than he probably already is.
He’s so lovely and does have a handsome face, he just needs to fix his teeth 😬

OP posts:
ChooksAndBooks · 30/08/2020 21:02

Yeah start talking about teeth. Maybe covid...impact on dentists appointments.... I would really like to get such and such done to my teeth and soon in case there's another lockdown....?

Saying that I'm not sure what treatments dentists are able to offer at the moment.

Maybe he has a phobia of the dentist? If the issue is obvious enough for you to notice I'm sure he's aware of it too.

wantmorenow · 30/08/2020 21:06

Teeth fixable and we all start to crumble as we age. A dodgy personality and no humour aren't. Most guys will do a lot for the right person. Say nothing direct , maybe drop some heavy hints in time, this is something easily "fixed" hopefully .

Louise000000 · 30/08/2020 21:10

What if he won't fix them, would this be a deal breaker or could you look past this?
Because there's no guarantee he will fix them, maybe it doesn't bother him!
Yes as above could you say you are desperate for a scale and polish and you can't wait to get into the dentist when they open. And see what he responds to that, it may give you An idea where he stands with his teeth too.

ALLIS0N · 30/08/2020 21:12

Dentists are not open for routine treatment - maybe that’s why he’s not been.

Needtogetbackinthesack · 30/08/2020 23:16

Teeth were my deal breaker.

Then I met a man who has fairly terrible teeth, and I'm completely and utterly in love with him. I don't even notice anymore. I really fancy him and can't get enough of him, he makes me happy, is kind and generous, very, very funny.

I'd say if teeth are that much of an issue he's probably not the man for you.

ChristmasFluff · 31/08/2020 10:03

In England, dentists most certainly ARE open for routine cases - I've been twice since they re-opened, for a repair to a chipped tooth and a routine check up.

If there is drilling required, it will depend on the facilities the dentist has.

Dark cavities suggest a problem that existed long before lockdown.

Sakurami · 31/08/2020 10:12

Bad teeth and smelly breath turn my stomach. My ex was really lax with teeth brushing and he had big horsey teeth and I hated kissing him. Everyone else I've been with has had clean, well taken care of teeth (they don't have to be straight) and i loved kissing them.

I don't think you could bring it up until you were a lot closer though.

Noisymotorbike · 31/08/2020 10:15

It's a bit early to ask him to fix them - you could try to bring it up in a roundabout way with a general discussion about what you both would change about yourselves, to see if he's noticed

Stargirl89 · 31/08/2020 11:42

OP I am in the same position except with gum disease bad breath Sad I feel your pain! I am working on biting the bullet too.

YouJustDoYou · 31/08/2020 11:43

Your tongue would be running over those cavities....🤮🤮

Original poster
Hutchy987 · 31/08/2020 15:28

@YouJustDoYou 😂😂🤢 That was funny but has made me feel a bit sick!

I think the general feedback of having conversations around what we’d change, teeth in general, then waiting a bit is probably the way to go. Wish me luck and @Stargirl89 I hope this has helped you too x

OP posts:
Elieza · 31/08/2020 15:50

My dentist isn’t open for drilling yet. Only drilling to reach a nerve to kill it. They won’t do anything else with the drill. Unfortunately.

So to mention something to him which his practice may not be able to treat and have him upset you’re disappointed when he can’t fix this is kinda cruel timing!

Can you wait until the dentists are open again so he can actually go? Then by all means encourage him by saying you’re going etc. and get a convo going when you could skip in that during lockdown all our teeth have gotten worse and it will be great to get them sorted now the dentists are drilling again etc...

Windmillwhirl · 31/08/2020 15:58

Surely he has a mirror and knows his teeth are bad. He may not actually care. Be prepared for him to maybe shut you down if you ask him. Bad teeth would be a deal breaker for me, too.

Ugzbugz · 31/08/2020 16:04

Does he actually brush his teeth???

AnaViaSalamanca · 31/08/2020 16:13

Bad teeth, a mole, a few extra pounds, etc. These may be deal breakers for you, but it's extremely rude and poor manners to mention it to the person.

Cheeseandlobster · 31/08/2020 16:22

@AnaViaSalamanca

Bad teeth, a mole, a few extra pounds, etc. These may be deal breakers for you, but it's extremely rude and poor manners to mention it to the person.
This. And way too early in the relationship too. How would you like it if he said something like "I find your spare tyre off putting. Here are a list of personal trainers" Or "You have some greys. Can you go to the hairdresser"

He sounds great in lots of ways. If you find this a deal breaker then end it. But be kind. And if it isn't, wait a bit before asking him to change something for you. He is probably well aware of his teeth but he may have a dental phobia or be unable to access a dentist.

dazzlinghaze · 31/08/2020 16:50

You shouldn't mention it at all. He'll be aware of them and if he wanted to fix them he would have done. If you don't fancy him because of it then let him go, he's obviously not for you if it's such a big deal.

Saucy99 · 31/08/2020 17:50

Imagine if a man wrote on here 'she's really pretty and I really like her, but she's got bad tits' 😂😂😂

Dozer · 31/08/2020 17:55

It’s nothing like a body feature, IF it’s fixable.

Are you sure it’s decay though, and not something that’s unsightly but not damaging, eg old discolouration?

MinnieMousse · 31/08/2020 18:00

You shouldn't mention it - you'll give him a complex. You either decide it's a deal-breaker and write off a potential relationship or wait it out and see if your relationship develops to the stage where you could mention it. Although he might still find it deeply hurtful.

Not all dentists are open for routine treatments. The DC and I had a checkup booked for the Easter holidays which was cancelled and they still aren't doing routine check-ups at my practice.

jolokoy · 31/08/2020 18:04

This is why I'll never go on OLD. Missing teeth. (And don't have ££££ to fix them).

scrivette · 31/08/2020 18:14

DH has a lot of discolouration on his teeth but do you know what, I love him and it doesn't matter to me at all.