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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My dreams are making me feel so lonely

5 replies

Autumn1122 · 30/08/2020 11:59

Bit of a strange one I guess but over the past month I've been having dreams about previous exes of mine and even though it was their fault the relationships didn't work eg cheating its making me feel so so lonely.
I've been single 4 years now and whilst I've dated people in that time I've had nothing serious. I haven't dated or spoken to anyone in over a year now. I try keep busy and tell myself I don't need someone and to make my life good. And although I'm happy within myself I just feel this hole of loneliness inside.
Lasts nights dream has actually made me emotional and teary. This particular ex I really miss. I felt he got me and I got him. Although he had many issues and did mess me around. I just can't shake the dream off. It was made me feel like I had someone to confide in, like my safe place and people describe as "home" and I guess that's why I'm sad today because that's all I want really. They have all been really vivid dreams and it's really getting me down.

Before people say he could just be around the corner or try be happy alone. Thank you but I've heard it so many times and I am happy in my own skin. I just really long to meet that person who makes me feel like they are "home"

OP posts:
Autumn1122 · 30/08/2020 15:31

Anyone else had a dream like this?

OP posts:
monkeymonkey2010 · 31/08/2020 19:12

yes.....and i believe that sometimes dreams are just a play on our psyche, and sometimes we get messages from the 'other side'/ancestors etc.

Your dream sounds to me like your psyche is recycling your past, bringing it up from your subconscious into your dream state, so you can 'face' it and deal with it.

Is there a part of you that feels maybe you should have/could just 'settle' with someone and not have standards?
I know plenty of people who stay in unhappy relationships cos "it's better than being alone/on my own"

I've only had one 'relationship' in my life as such - and it was a disaster.
Yes, i feel lonely and alone - yet i'm also able to be on my own without needing anyone else.

I don't know what the answer is to fix it.

Autumn1122 · 31/08/2020 20:07

Thanks for your reply. I used to settle but I'm trying so hard not to anymore and it's taken alot of work to get here. My boundaries are stronger but maybe my subconscious is trying to make me give in because I just want to be with someone. But I am fighting it.
I know there isn't really an answer

OP posts:
InvincibleInvisibility · 31/08/2020 20:21

Yes. I recently woke up from a dream feeling so happy and loved from a new and exciting relationship (with a yummy actor on tv). Poor DH got a grumpy wife saying that I dont feel adored anymore but acknowledging that Im the same towards him - we've been together 13 years so we've slipped into a comfortable pattern.

I felt sad for a day but on the plus side I got lots of hugs from DH trying to make up for it Grin

InvincibleInvisibility · 31/08/2020 20:23

Im sorry you feel lonely

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