I can't put my finger on it. Dating.

[ReadRight]

Red pill, incel or something else?

It turns out a man I was interested in might very well belong to one of these 'cults' or ideologies.

I put myself forward to pursue something with him because I liked him and he led me on to believe he wanted something too. I now realise this was possibly just breadcrumbing.

I also offered, not in person but online, sex on a plate. He didn't respond, despite seeming keen for it.

A few weeks on and I notice he's posted something on a group asking other men about where to find women and how to converse with them. Also about always being optimistic to eventually take one home with him (sex).

I met this guy on a dating app. He stated on it that he's after a relationship. I really, genuinely liked him. Got to know him over FB over lockdown. I'm perfectly sure it's him and not me. We both said we'd like to stay friends and have left it at that. In retrospect I'm thinking thank fuck nothing materialised.

I'm not sure why he didn't pursue sex with me, when he clearly wants/needs it. I'm an attractive women, who enjoys sex, and would have had no-strings sex had he asked or accepted outright.

Please, no judgement. The ship has sailed with this guy. I just can't figure out wtaf. I've never ever encountered this before.

Sounds very odd, OP. You've had a lucky escape!! He actually sounds like a player and would think nothing of using women and messing with their emotions. You deserve better!!!

@Idontlikeyoghurt Not a very good player at that. Extremely odd. I'm so glad I didn't go too deep with him when I told him I liked him. I ended off with saying I hope that we stay friends. I don't even care whether or not he was being genuine with me about staying friends. Honestly cannot believe I liked him more than that at one stage.

Onwards and upwards!

Definitely onwards and upwards! Some men are just plain weird and there's just no way to figure them out ! It's definitely him, not you.

@Idontlikeyoghurt Even though I already know that it's him and not me, it's just nice to have it reconfirmed by someone else. So thank you. I do kind of feel sorry for him because he seems a bit messed up. All the same, I'm glad it's all over now.

Just leave him be. He sounds like a right tool. Why would you feel sorry for him?? Been there, done that...

Yes op he sounds weird. Would avoid and move on .

Sounds to me like he might be really inexperienced and/or unconfident with women and whilst he was up for sex and possibly even a relationship, he got cold feet when push came to shove. Perhaps not wanting to show his lack of experience? (I knew a guy once who was still a virgin in his late 30s, so it's not completely unknown).

Did I miss something here?

1. Him being "keen" might have just been him being friendly, and you got the wrong end of the stick.

1. You may consider yourself attractive and you may very well be (we haven't seen you), but that doesn't mean he finds you attractive.

1. A man asking for advice on bedding women isn't necessarily a red pill or incel. It's perfectly normal for men (and yes, women too) to seek out this advice.

1. Him wanting to bed women doesn't necessarily mean he wants to bed you. He may not find you attractive, or he might have thought you were looking for a serious relationship which he didn't want (he can't read your mind unfortunately). There's any number of reasons why someone seeking sex may not want to have sex with you, specifically, and no one is entitled to it.

1. Leaving a post on an online message board asking how it could be possible that someone didn't want to shag you, without the slightest shred of self-awareness, is exactly what an incel, or a red pill, or a pickup artist would do.

I hope that after you've read that stuff he was writing on a group you don't like him anymore. He's naff. Maybe he wants sex with women in theory but is actually too neurotic to do much in real life.

Please don't see him as a challenge or something.

He's shown himself as a desperate weirdo. I would block him.

Maybe he wants sex with women in theory but is actually too neurotic to do much in real life.

This would be like if an incel wrote on a message board, "I saw a woman write on her Facebook page that she was hoping to meet a man and have sex with him. I basically offered this to her on a plate, but she just wanted to be friends. I can't understand why because I'm an attractive guy. Maybe she wants sex with men in theory, but is actually too neurotic to do much in real life."

Is this the first time a man has not responded to your offer of sex on a plate whereas others have accepted in past?

I am not sure how unusual this is since I have not made such an offer before but I'd assume I was not attractive to him if he did not respond. How about maybe he did not get your message?