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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I feel special?

1 reply

Icanseethepigeon · 27/08/2020 23:07

I'm in a new relationship (4 months) after being with one man for 30 years so this is quite new to me.

DP has had several long term relationships and a longish period of being single, so more experienced than I am at being a partner and a lover.

I don't doubt that he loves me but after years and years of being taken for granted by my ex, I find it hard to believe sometimes and need reassuring. We've discussed this and I think he understands my insecurities. I try very hard to not be needy and give my head a wobble when I may be being stupid.

But am I right in thinking that he should make me feel like I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him? We are considering spending the rest of our lives together so surely I shouldn't feel like he is settling for just someone who will have him but who doesn't measure up to his previous partner? I have told him that I don't feel special or as good as others and he just says he understands why I would feel that but he loves me. Never tells me I'm the best thing ever. He's very honest but you would fib wouldn't you? Tell me I'm a good lover? Not say he understands my insecurities. Or Am I being unrealistic? We are both early 50s.

OP posts:
Fidgety31 · 27/08/2020 23:09

Not everyone is vocal in their feelings .
Maybe You expect Him to be something he’s not ?
Does he show that he loves you in his actions - that’s more important than words for me .

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