I'm really looking for some advice please as to if I'm being far to sensitive here. Sorry if this seems long, but I just wanted to give a bit of history. I started a new relationship 6 months ago after finally coming out as gay. She is my first relationship in 2 years after coming out of a 20 year relationship, and I have very strong feelings for her. My ex was pretty abusive, and it has left me very nervous of anything that seems 'off' in a relationship though.
My girlfriend also says that her ex wife was very abusive to her, and she does show signs at times of this being the case. The awful thing is though that there have been a couple of occasions where I have had an uneasy feeling that perhaps she wasn't telling the whole truth regarding the abuse in her last relationship, and that she may have been at fault for some of it as well. I've also felt uneasy at times that she may still have feelings for her ex, as she is so full of anger whenever she brings her up.
I caught her out blatantly lying to me twice when we first started dating, and we did split temporarily because of it, but things seemed good up to a few days ago.
So last weekend, she mentioned that her ex had tried to get in touch with her via Facebook and sent her a friend request.
I was uneasy about this as I was under the impression that things ended very badly between them, but have since found out that my girlfriends ex also sent friend requests to my girlfriends sister and niece this week, both of whom accepted. I know this may sound childish, and that Facebook is the work of the devil, but my mind is working overtime now. I cannot for the life of me understand why my girlfriends sister and niece would want to be back in touch with someone who treated their sister so abusively?
My earlier gut feeling is now kicking in big time, and I can't help but worry that this woman maybe wasn't as abusive as my girlfriend has told me if her family are now back in contact with her? They are a close family, so this just doesn't make sense to me as my girlfriend has told me that her family know all about how abusive her ex wife was towards her?
I know I probably need to end things as my head is all over the place, but am I right to have alarm bells ringing, or am I just being overly paranoid due to my own abusive past?