Quick dating whilst married question

[damnthisvirusandmarriage]

Partner and I separated. We own home together. He’s moved out.

Can I date? Can I have people to this home?

What is the etiquette? Women’s Aid say go for it. My mum says not to??

Go for it, but be honest about your situation with any dates.

Life is too short

Of course if your exH is likely to swing by unannounced, you might want to avoid having dates over until you can be sure that wont happen.

I would be careful about starting dating if you've come out of an abusive relationship and are yet to divorce. The chances of you attracting another abusive guy are quite high, so I'd take your time and really work on your boundaries and expectations in a relationship.

Of course you could date and have blokes round, but what's the hurry? There's more to life than cock.

Nothing wrong with dating as long as it is just dating. You aren't healed yet from your marriage and you may find you pick more abusive relationships. There is no hurry and your mum might be right as she just wants to protect you and you need to perhaps be on your own for a bit to figure yourself out.

Not sure about the home aspect but If you are not yet divorced you are technically committing adultery. This might not be a problem for couples who separate amicably but could fuel the fire if it’s a messy divorce (happened to me.)

I didn't realise your marriage was abusive OP. If so it might be better to wait and get to know someone quite well before having anybody round

Personally I think dating should normally wait till after divorce but I accept that will be seen as an old-fashioned view.

My reasons are:

• it takes time to heal and while you are healing you are not really ready to date
• it gives ammunition to your ex - if you sleep with someone it's still technically adultery and they could name the person in divorce papers, for example

@category12

I would be careful about starting dating if you've come out of an abusive relationship and are yet to divorce. The chances of you attracting another abusive guy are quite high, so I'd take your time and really work on your boundaries and expectations in a relationship.

Of course you could date and have blokes round, but what's the hurry? There's more to life than cock.

Absolutely this.

Do you need to be involved with a man in order for you to function? You're still married. Just wait until you're divorced and focus on yourself before jumping into that pit again.

If you feel ready then date. I did. I checked out ages before and after a long marriage, I couldn't wait. Life it too short so just go for it.

I met DP while still married to ExH, separated over 2 years and divorce under way, was totally honest about my situation and 4.5 years later, we're stupidly happy and I'm divorced!

How long since you separated and he moved out?

It’s fine of course, but be warned that you would be committing adultery and this could be used against you or even cited as the reason for divorce (I’ve seen this happen).

Yeah don't go around telling people you are divorced when in fact you are separated and are still legally married, unfortunately had an argument with one women who I met online who insisted she was not married, I asked her are you divorced then? No she replys, so your still married then, no she replys, felt like banging my head up against a wall. Kept going around in circles.

I’m in same situation. I don’t think I’ll wait until divorce as due to complex housing and finances, and a mentally unwell ex I think it is likely to take a long time. But I have told myself I won’t even think of dating for at least a year, to make sure my head is on straight. There really is no rush. I’d also feel weird about inviting a man back to my home that my children live in and is owned by my ex

I met my current boyfriend a couple of months after divorce but my divorce was quick, all done within 8 months of separating. It took maybe 5 months after we split for me to feel like dating.