Grandparents...do you enjoy having your grandchildren?

[LoveMyNewHomee]

My parents love having my children, they often ask if they can go over/stay the night. DH parents see it more as a chore and hate having them. They odd time we have to ask, because of work, they will probably do it but they don't like it. My DC are not hard work, they are 8 and 10 so not really young either.
Just wondered what other grandparents think

I love being a grandmother and I love spending time with my GSs. They are just so gorgeous and full of fun. Being with my GSs is never, ever a chore. :)

I love seeing the world through their eyes.

The in-laws love our DS but are not really the playing with and amusing them type.

My DH is an older father so the in-laws did all the grandkids stop overs and childcare years ago with My SILs kids, as my in-laws are 70, I wouldn't want that for them, but they blooming love him and have missed him immensely during this time.

My dad on the other hand just can't wait to have him over night (not likely) and plays like a big soft kid with him, our DS adores grandad and thinks he's the best thing since sliced bread, which is just lovely, although he gets away with murder with him

So on the whole our DS is a luckily little boy having so much love.

Also from talking to other grandparents I know, they all love seeing their grandkids, they just hate it if they feel taken for granted or expected to do the childcare.

My mum never bothers with my two daughters 8 and 15. She lives in the next street to us and she hasn’t popped by to see them in 3 months.
She’s not shielding, this is just how she is. She’s also working from home. I guess they have become used to how she is.

I feel really sad for them. They are missing out on how lovely and funny dc our. They live 2 minutes away and make no effort to see them. If she didn't take children round to them or phone I'm pretty certain they wouldn't see them.

My parents love spending time with my dc but they live 3 hours away so don’t see them as much as they’d like to. My in laws spend their time telling everyone they know how much they love and see their grandchildren but it’s just for show as they show no interest as all. They’ll call dh and ask how he is but act as if I and the dc don’t exist. Since lockdown was lifted, they have seen our dc once (they live 20 mins away) and then put the photos on Facebook for everyone to see. It’s very annoying!

#are not our

I’m in exactly the same boat. My 15 yr old can now see I’m afraid to say that nanny has no interest. So unfortunately neither does my daughter.

Also my mum will tell all and sundry how much she dotes on the girls, makes out she spends lots of time with them. Total bullcrap.

I love having my grandchildren over, but my former partner did not, and the relationship has ended because of it, he objected to me looking after them at my house for 24 hours every 3 weeks. He saw it as HIS house, when it is mortgaged 50/50. He also objected to framed photos of my grandchildren around the house. We got together before grandchildren came along. Needless to say my grandchildren are not his grandchildren. Maybe it was jealousy that I was giving some of my time and attention to them. However well you know someone, even if you buy a house with them, you don't know them if they turn nasty or even indifferent to your family. A cautionary tale, BEWARE THE CHARMER.

We have had our 2 year old three days and one night this week. She comes in in the morning and is so happy to see us. She is starting to be a bit more work now, ie, climbing and doing slightly dangerous stuff so I need eyes on her the whole time but wouldn’t miss this time for the world because I think she will be the only one.

I wish my parents would offer t o take my kids I gave up asking them to mind them cos when I did all i got was yes of course but only for an hour or how long for. At the end of the day its their loss .

My parents hate having my youngest (1) but love having my oldest (4)

It's caused a lot of problems because there's a huge amount of favouritism for my eldest daughter.

I hadn't been out with DH for 3 years until the other day, my parents said they would have the kids for the evening... we were gone 2 hours and I was getting angry calls and texts that we had been too long and we needed to come home.

They won't be looking after them again.

It's a shame. There sounds like so many lovely grand parents on here. I wish my mum and dad were a bit more like that

We've had our dgs since the end of July and I'll take him back to his parents next week.
We know we're lucky to have him here for so long. He's very happy and can contact his parents when he wants outside working hours. It works well for all of us.

Other way round here. My MIL adores my daughter and is probably a bit obsessed with her but is fantastic with her and often has her overnight too. My parents find my DD hard work (she is very active and energetic) and would probably rather only see her occasionally.

@liann81

I wish my parents would offer t o take my kids I gave up asking them to mind them cos when I did all i got was yes of course but only for an hour or how long for. At the end of the day its their loss .

See, is it?

I look after my DGC and I love them to bits, but not everyone feels like that or does love them, but prefers them in the company of their parents.

We don't ( or shouldn't) tell women that don't want children that it's 'their loss' so why MUST grandparents want to look after their DGC?

@Crumpets4butter

Other way round here. My MIL adores my daughter and is probably a bit obsessed with her but is fantastic with her and often has her overnight too. My parents find my DD hard work (she is very active and energetic) and would probably rather only see her occasionally.

Doesn't mean they don't love her, though.

Not a grandparent but my mum and DH'S parents love having our kids, (aged nearly 7 and 2.5 years).
My mum is a widow, she enjoys the company and has often said that without the children and her job, life wouldn't be worth living. She takes the eldest on little day trips on the bus, they go for lunches and pampering and its nice.
My in-laws are very hands on grandparents as well, FIL loves to teach the eldest to play violin and piano, helps with homework, get the kids involved in gardening etc.
I appreciate that it may not be for everyone, but we feel very blessed that our kids have grandparents who want to be involved.

We love having DGD2, Have her at least one weekend a month. Missed her greatly during Lockdown.

Brought DGD1 up from age 3 till 13, when SS insisted she went back to her mother. Contact from then on was very duffucukt and we still miss her.

My dd is now 20 but was the only grandchild for both sets of GP.

My parents looked after her loads and couldn't spend enough time with her.
Relationship with dd was always very close.

DH parents took her out maybe four times in her life, despite living in the same town, and usually only when SIL was there to suggest it. PIL were retired, in good health and financially comfortable. Dd would say she feels like she didn't really know her paternal GPs and they clearly weren't interested in spending much time with her. I honestly have no idea why. I think FIL finds children annoying, even one well behaved little girl. No idea why he adopted 3 kids himself but he wasn't a great parent to any of them to be fair.

People are very different.

I find the role of grand-parenting somewhat confusing.

My two sets of grandparents had huge families so I have over 80 FIRST cousins all together. I was lucky if my grandparents could remember my name, never mind have any relationship with all of us. I don't remember them well because all four died by the time I turned nine-years-old.

I moved 750 miles from my hometown when I married for the first time and I had my oldest when I was 21. I lost my mother when I was ten-years-old so my children were already down a grandparent but the other three lived far away and we only saw them once a year for a week.

I moved to England for my second marriage (I am in the US) and had two additional children there. My in-laws lived 200 miles away from us so we saw them every few months for a weekend.

My husband was based in Europe so he moved our family to be closer to his parents and ended living four miles away from them. I saw my in-laws every week and it was very nice for my children to have a grandparents in their lives but that only lasted five years because we ended up moving to the US.

We returned but again we were far away from my father so we were back to being by ourselves. My father passed away nine years ago so my children only have my in-laws as grandparents and they are in England and quite far away.

I became a grandmother a week before my 42nd birthday and again to twins near my 46th birthday.

I adore my grandchildren but I never know exactly how I am supposed to act that will placate my son. If I want to spend time with them every week, my son says I'm asking too much. If I don't see them every week, he gets angry that I don't spend enough time with them.

Last year, the whole grandparent scenario changed entirely.

My son and the children's mother made some ridiculous life choices and I ended up with a year-long temporary custody of my three grandchildren. They were with me 24/7 for a year. I love my grandchildren but I have found caring for them extraordinarily difficult. I had to "raise" them. I feel like I felt every single day of my 49 years. The year long custody has ended so they no longer live with me but they are not living with their parents either. I miss them every single day but I don't think I could do the day-to-day care again.

I've had two very extreme experiences. I hardly had grandparents in my own life; my children had limited experience in theirs and now I've been parenting my grandchildren and now I don't have them.

Love my grandchildren to bits, enjoy their company and love it when they stay over, they are a joy and a credit to my children.

Nope. I don't have my grandchildren.

I work two jobs to try to keep myself financially stable and the last of my children only moved out four years ago. I'm single and intend to spend the best of my remaining years recovering from being a single mother to five of my own kids. That is why I don't intend to start again with someone else's children, even if that is my own children's children.

My DM loved my DC but never ever offered to have them, and in 13 years never had them once overnight. She just didn't enjoy the company of children and would rather be cleaning up, shopping or on holiday.
PIL were always more bothered with SIL DC.
The threads were GP are clamouring to have their GC overnight or alone as babies never fails to amaze me. I put mine in nursery at four months out of desperation and went back to work because we had no break whatsoever.