What do I do?

[Franny0696]

Hi all, I'm don't know what to say or do at this moment in time. I haven't been at work since March due to covid I'm currently 38 weeks pregnant & my husband has just told me he's unhappy he feels like we have just become friends.

Over the WHOLE course of my pregnancy he can gone out to the pub not come home stayed at his friends house and returns the next day. This is been intense since pubs have reopened. He's not cheating I've 100% got that. I followed him a few times and went on his phone. Anyway when he goes out and not comes home ovbs I go crazy call his phone 10000 of times and message him and say horrible stuff it's toxic. The next day he will come home say sorry and we are fine for a few days until it happens again.

Last week he left me for a week saying he needs space and time he stayed at a friends for 1 night then a hotel the rest of the 4 which made me feel so insecure. During this period I couldn't stop texting him calling him with no replies it made me feel crazy. I was convinced he was cheating turns out he just needed space which according to him I didn't give him.

He came back Sunday and told me he didn't wasn't sure if he wanted to be with me anymore l. I haven't done nothing except beg for respect when I'm so pregnant. We went for a meal and spoke about things. He told me he's unhappy he doesn't feel involved with baby due to covid restrictions on scans etc. Doesn't fee real for him balbalbakq I stupidly gave him the benefit of the doubt. He said let's give things a shot for the sake of the baby and go from there. Anyways Monday he went to work went to the pub and yes it happens again this time it got nasty when he got home resulting to him telling me doesn't love me and doesn't want to be with me. Next day he doesn't even remember saying those things and push over I am we spent the day together and he was so nice again yesterday he wen to work came home and we was fine.

Something was telling me to check his phone bill and there was LOADS OF NUMBERS early Friday morning for escorts I confronted him and he said he was pissed up in the hotel with his mate and they were winding the boys up in the group chat. It was a joke and blabalabak I feel physically sick that he even done that. I barley slept o couldn't not thinking about it. Whilst talking to him he was like I couldn't give a shit about getting your trust we are seeing how things go etc.

WHAT THE HELL DO I DO?

Do I abide my time until baby gets here because currently I have no where to go no where my parents are away for next two week which is annoying as I'm due in two weeks. He clearly doesn't love me anymore NOR want to be with me. I don't know what the hell to do. I love him but he's all I know we have been together since we was very young. I haven't done nothing wrong he has made my life hell since I've been pregnant. Is he getting it out his system i don't knows

I feel like I'm going crazy I don't feel like me at all. I've changed as a person massively.

He acts all fine like right now come down being really nice. WHAT DO I DO?

Hi i have been in your situation before and i feel for you. This is a toxic relationship and won't get any better, i no the thought of being a single parent is scary especially when you are still pregnant but i think you will feel so much more happier down the line if you end it with your partner and you will live a peaceful life without being stressed or angry about what hes up to. He won't ever change, my son is 12 now and deciding to become a single mum all those years ago was the best thing I ever done. Good luck x

Whilst talking to him he was like I couldn't give a shit about getting your trust we are seeing how things go etc.

He's a wanker OP and know way should he be going out overnight, especially while not bothering to phone you.

He doesn't care about your feelings.

Please separate from him.

Are your parents on holiday in the UK? Could they get a copy of the keys done and send them to you?

Separate asap.
And speak to your gp about a sexual health screening.

You dont need this extra stress whilst pregnant.
He is a horrible person and that will never change.
Get free and stay free.

I've also been in a similar situation but I wasn't pregnant and didn't have children with him.
I know that feeling when they go out to the pub after work with friends and don't come back. You're sitting at home waiting - not sure whether to eat a meal because they've said they will be back at 7 or they've made arrangements to go out so you can't get on with anything. Then you phone them and there's no answer, so you maybe phone again half an hour later and when they eventually rock up rolling drunk at 4 am they claim you are controlling and all the rest of it.

I've also experienced the getting nasty after alcohol and not remembering the next day (or pretending not to remember).
I can also relate to the not feeling like yourself anymore.
Their awful behaviour makes you feel insecure which then makes you act insecurely (eg. I never thought I would be a person who kept phoning some stupid man to find out where he was). When you start acting insecurely they start pulling away more and saying you are controlling.
It is a horrible cycle and if you aren't careful you lose yourself in all of this.

The only way to stop this is to split up. He is not good for you. He does not understand why he needs to come home from the pub at a reasonable time, nor does he want to. He wants to drink with his friends whenever and for however long he wants to - your needs (and the baby's needs when it arrives) are irrelevant.
I'm not someone who thinks that a partner should not be allowed to go out with their friends at all but when they have a partner the relationship be more important than getting wasted all the time.

Just get rid of him OP. You will feel better. Otherwise this is going to be a neverending downhill cycle.

And btw, my ex who was behaving like this was going to brothels. When this came out I was to blame for all of it - for the drinking, the prostitutes - blahblah. It's taken me a long time to come to terms with the fact that I was not to blame for this.

I followed him a few times and went on his phone. Anyway when he goes out and not comes home ovbs I go crazy call his phone 10000 of times and message him and say horrible stuff it's toxic.

OP does that sound like healthy behaviour? You are following your boyfriend, spying on him and bombarding him with abusive messages.

He came back Sunday and told me he didn't wasn't sure if he wanted to be with me anymore

He doesn't want to be with you anymore and that is obvious from his behaviour which is as disrespectful as yours.

Did he want the baby?

There's now the possibility of escorts - although since you follow him and check his phone, it's unlikely it's a habit as you'd know.

I haven't done nothing wrong he has made my life hell since I've been pregnant.

You haven't done anything wrong?! You SPY ON HIM. You send him abusive messages, you check his phone bill.

Move on OP ffs.