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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Pensions...what would you do?

8 replies

JessicaSha21 · 26/08/2020 09:06

So i separated from my husband 2 years ago this November. He stayed in the house and i moved out as i had always wanted to live else-ware anyway and he wanted to stay. Made sense and both happy with this. He bought me out of the house and we split the savings.

Once the money had come through for him to buy me out he started to delay transferring it over to the solicitor. In the end the only way i could get it quickly was to agree to what he wanted me to do. This was to write a statement on a bit of paper saying that i would not try and go back and get more money, including a right on his pension.

I am fast regretting doing this as he moved someone into the house 3 months later and they are still together. He also gave me 1k for the contents. That i've relaised was a very low amount as its cost me way more than that to kit out my new house.

Anyway...things are very amicable and we are actually good friends now. As the divorce approaches (2 year wait) i am getting more and more resentful of it. I dropped my hours in work to look after out daughter so my pension is way lower.

I'm so torn on what to do next. Part of me thinks i should just leave it alone and just walk away. The other part of me is screaming that i'm stupid. I'm entitled to ask for the pensions to be fairly split? Mine and his in the pot....

I'm wondering if the statement i wrote on the back of an envelope could be legally binding? Is it worth it? He will get very annoyed if i do this....

What would you do?

OP posts:
Absolutelylush · 26/08/2020 09:10

I would see a solicitor to find out about how legally binding your signature was and the whole financial situation.

hotblacktea · 26/08/2020 09:11

get proper legal advice asap and follow your own interests, don't fall for his crap

JessicaSha21 · 26/08/2020 09:41

Thanks both. You are right in that i need to get advice. Part of me just doesn't want to have to face the hassle but then i might regret it if i don't put up a bit of a fight.

OP posts:
BBY6 · 26/08/2020 10:02

How much are you talking about?

If you go after it, you won’t be friends after so you need to be clear on that.

Absolutelylush · 26/08/2020 10:16

Well get your facts before you decide what to do. It might not be worth your while if you already came to an agreement you were happy with. With legal costs, it might be better if you can have a clean break divorce. Depends what’s in the whole pot.

EL8888 · 26/08/2020 11:12

Another vote to get some legal advice. Good luck with it all

tornadoalley · 26/08/2020 11:19

I don't think the statement you wrote would be legally binding as it was written under duress, as in he wouldn't expedite the payments unless you wrote this out. Go for his pension. You and the DD deserve it.

FairiesWillFly · 26/08/2020 11:30

Agree it was written under duress and also it was written when you had not had any legal advice. I don't think it will be binding

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